Benjamin Button

"we are made to let go and lose the people we love because how else would we understand how important they are for us"

I've realized how important you are,

then why do I still have to eventually LET you GO.

darn!

polyvore euphoria

i just found my new procrastinating machine ...haha

here are some sets I created minutes ago on polyvore

another christmas list by Rara Kinanti

christmas list by Rara Kinanti

1st set by Rara Kinanti

the list

Santa, here are some of my christmas wishes..

complex geometries's hood tee  

angela chen's cropped pants

hydesk's pumpkin bag

jeffrey campbell wingtip grey

jeffrey campbell's saraid shoes

 

jeffrey campbell's tan leather loafers

nikon d90 

nikkor's AF 50mm F/1.8D

or at least an affordable way to own them....

*click on the images to check the further info in case you're touched to get it wrapped for my christmas presents

a birthday wish

it's 1.5 hours til your birthday and here I am, miles away from you, wishing so hard I was there right at 00.00, knocking on your bedroom door, looking at your priceless surprised face when I bring you a candle-lit cake.

But sometimes dreams will only be dreams. 
Pardon my brain, pardon my limitations, but I can only write this note wishing you a super duper blessed birthday, wrapped with sincere prayers, endless good lucks, piles of best wishes.

I may not have a street full of lit-up candles to greet you 'happy birthday'
I may not have any surprise party to wake you up in the middle of the night
I may not have any grand presents for your birthday

I may not even be on your side on your special day
but I'm telling you
my outstretched hands are always ready to embrace you and help you out

my smiling eyes always look after you
my heart still cares
and I'm still here, the same friend you had back then,

only a call away, yes you can always find me on the other side of the phone

Happy birthday, DENISE

Ti Amo,

no, don't

what if I say don't go

japanese and their engRish part 2

well I just got home, after closing the camp with overflowing foods, unexpectedly 'okay' presentations from the kids, and waved goodbyes.

Regardless their limited engRish, this camp has been a really great experience I treasure. 

I'm proud to see them trying their best to make the presentations, I was touched to see the sign-board they gave me, and, most importantly,

instead of teaching them *which I think doesnt have that much influence since it's only for two days and we speak Japanese in 90% of the conversations*, I learn how nice it feels to share my thoughts to others, and how priceless to know I can inspire other people, be someone they can look up to and hearing them saying 'I like your presentation and I wanna try harder for my future'.

I am touched indeed.

So, I have taken another step forward on this leading-to-my-future path.

Yes, being an inspiration, passing the blessing I've got, and be SOMEBODY in someone's live have always been one of my dreams - and this camp has given me the chance to put a small piece in this yet incomplete puzzle of my future.

From now on, I gotta continue finding the other scattered pieces. I know it's a tough work but knowing that I have a beyond-wonderful heavenly Father, I believe I can. And so can you.

じゃあ、これから夢に向かって頑張ろううう！！

p.s. photos will be uploaded soon

japanese and their engRish

I'm currently working as one of the leaders of an English camp in my uni for two days where we have to help 250 japanese high school students exploring their dream and thinking how to reach their goals in the future. (I'm currently listed as a 2nd year student in Ritsumeikan Asia Pacific University in Japan)

It has been really great because I get along well the other leaders, the project itself is fun, I make new friends, I learn a lot from  the kids, I can practice my japanese ability, and last but not least, I get paid*wink*

BUT the thing is, I kinda had such a high expectations on their english because the program director said it's an english camp and it turned out to be all wrong.

First, at the beginning of the program, we tried to do the ice-breaking games, and the first trouble appeared. I explained the instructions and no one moved. I was stunned. Yes, they dont understand my simple explanation * i just ask them to make a circle,ask about their group mates' hobby, and we will 'test' them afterward*

After that, we had to take them on campus tour. It went pretty much ok because we dont need that much explanation and I also had to make a presentation about how I view my future but since I had my translator with me, it was alright. *my japanese is not good enough to make a presentation. sad*

Then, the last session of the day is preparation for tomorrow's presentation. So we had to help them making presentation about how to make their dreams come true in the globalized society. IT WAS REALLY REALLY HARD,trust me. 

Because, they DONT understand the english explanation and I don't understand some of their Japanese explanation either, so we have to use our limited language skills to explain as good as possible. After a hard struggle of using gestures, writing kanjis, finding the easier words to explain, they finally understood what to do, but then it took FOREVER for them to make their own future plan.

Well, I believe doing such thing for senior high school students in Indonesia won't be hard at all. And anyway, they're from Tokyo, people.. yes, TOKYO, the capital city of this so called uber developed country. How come their english is even worse than those students in some small cities in the under-developed Indonesia????

Besides, after spending the whole day with them, I learned how narrow their views are about the world. They don't know what's going on in this world, starting from the closest part of their lives, music for example. They only know Japanese music. 

They don't know who on earth is Condoleezza Rice.

And other facts that really wow-ed me. It really makes me wonder how could Japan be a leading county if their young generation don't speak English and live their under-the-rock-life.

Being a part of this camp has really opened my eyes that there REALLY are certain points at which Indonesians are even better than the Japanese. Then if we have such skills than it's surely possible for us to reach higher than the Japanese do.

The world does need English. And we've already possessed one of the world's needs. So let's add some other skills up and I believe, starting from the small scale, we can pile up the efforts to make Indonesia a better country. =)

factagged

I got tagged..and since I (pretend to) have nothing to do..yes I'm writing them down now

fact #1
it's 2.19am with final exam and report waiting in the next two days, but instead of getting tired after extracting my brain,I feel truly refreshed because i just got back from KARAOKE...yes.karaoke instead of studying will bring you luck for the exams.*amen*

fact #2
I'm missing last week times. (read: hijacking my neighbor's room, glueing our eyes on youtube, cuddling around to bed, get up late with nothing much to do, slack off) argh, screw exams week!

fact #3
i seriously can NOT stand temptation whatever the form is..food, whoring over the internet instead of studying, and some stuffs

fact #4
I keep telling my self to stop everyday, know i should stay away, yet deep down inside I'm still gripping tightly on it

fact #5
It's 2 degrees here today. It's still mid november and the weather forecast said it's gonna snow tomorrow. It's freakin weird since it started to snow around the last days of december last year

fact #6
I haven't been in the shower for err..2 days? and my hair smells like ciggs. shoot

fact #7
I am craving for nikon D90, oxford flat shoes, and hydesk's pumpkin bag (STILL)

fact #8
I'm supposed to be in the shower, get ready to sleep because it's 2.32am and I'm planning to go for a so-called-relieving-trip at 9am tomorrow and it's gonna be for the whole day. Guess I better start piling up enough energy from now

fact #9
I'm thinking of what should I type here

fact #10
I miss you, neighbor

DONE

and these are the people I tagged
1. Denise
2. Sarra
3. Clay
4. Sam
5. Gilang

HOMEWORK'S RULES:
1. Each blogger must post this rules.
2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themseves.
3. Blogger that are tagged need to write about their own blog about their ten things and post. these rules . You need to choose some people to get tagged and list their names .
4. Don't forget to live them a comment telling them they've been tagged and to read your blog.

tilt shift photography

does it ring a bell?

if it doesn't, check these pictures out, maybe you'll find out what's it all about

as a result of a pile of those asstivities of mine in the past few days, me and my friend found some nice photography websites and those miniature look alike photographs are the result of tilt-shift photography, one of the dope works of Vincent Laforet's that have successfully made me drooling.

Enjoy!

friends

Was it love, or just something that reminded me of

Something that felt a lot like, but wasn't, love
Just friends, friends then, until the end
You know I still pretend, just friends

Was it love, I think it was but I'm far from sure
I'd never felt that way before, was it love?
Just friends, am I a fool to be asking for,
a fool to wish that we could be more than friends

my math teacher called it PROBABILITY

those eyes that stare would probably be the same eyes that tear out

this heart that loves would probably be the same heart that struggle to endure the pain

these blessings I am thankful for would probably the same blessings I try not to recall

these hands that tangled would probably be the same hands that let go

those arms that embrace would probably the same arms that wave good bye

these lips that kiss would probably be the same lips that whisper you the prayer, best wishes, and thank yous for the past times

but those thoughts would also probably be the thoughts I look back on, while telling you 'I was a fool back then for having such silly thoughts for we are now still together'

I am keeping my fingers crossed, wishing the right things on the right time

amen

I do

everyone's looking round, thinking I'm going crazy

trying hard not to hear but they talk so loud
their piercing sounds fill my ears..
try to fill me with doubt,
yet I know that the goal is to keep me from falling

but nothing's greater than the risk that comes with your embrace

they try to pull me away but I keep.......................

photograph by http://hardmerolgirl.deviantart.com

stealing kisses. taking wishes

hi, my holga baby back home how's my sister treating you?

anyway. my fisheye camera is kinda broken  now and I still haven't saved enough money to get the polaroid film. Darn!

wow

yes that's the word when I logged in to facebook this morning. I got a friend request and seriously stunned when I see the 'nightlife-photographer of the year'awarded Nikola Tamindzic added me as his friend. And now I'm regretting that I didn't take any screen shot of that page. I know it's corny but I am just so WOWed with  this.

well I know him through a friend and have always been mesmerized by his amazing works.Well I even have put his link on this blog if you notice since the first time I had it.

So, Nicola Tamindzic is the man behind the famous home of the vain and ambrel. Yes, two of other photography websites I've always been whoring over. 

Here are some of his beyond-amazing works

.

don't you love them?

 

日本語で初めて書いている

今もう遅いのに、何をするのがわからないので、荒馬のうちやげの写真をアドブでエデイットして、アップしているよ。

じゃあ、このポストで、私のブログは二言語でもう書いたよね。未だ簡単な日本語で書いてあるけど、今からよく練習して、もっともっと上手に書けるようになってこれると思うだろう。

still..

yes,it's 2.47am yet i'm still whoring over Gabe Bondoc's songs rather than memorizing kanji for today's quiz.

well i found this really nice self-written song that inspired me to instantly click on the photoshop icon  and work on one pic of mine

Suitcases and travel bags

I can't sit and watch you pack

Just leave a couple of things for me

Oh, leave me your sweet perfume

Spray it around the room

And I'll pray that you'll come home soon

well..i'm totally drooling over..=)

c'est la vie

 when something is too good to be true, then it's not true

trust me

FLY

"when you feel you need a get away,you can just fly away"

i miss my holga back home.sigh.

US, back then

I just set my itunes on shuffle mode and this song suddenly popped up.

I reminisced this one day when I was getting ready to school and found someone asking my approval to send this song.

I asked why and what's with this song?

"It's us, back then", he typed.

I listened to it and well...i guess he was true

Pills- The Perishers

I hope my smile can distract you

I hope my fists can fight for two

So it never has to show and you’ll never know

I hope my love can blind you

I hope my arms can bind you

So you’ll never have to see what we’ve grown to be

One may think we’re alright

But we need pills to sleep at night

We need lies to make it through the day

We’re not ok

One may think we’re doing fine

But if I had to lay it on the line

We’re losing ground with every passing day

We’re not ok 

But that’s one thing I would never say to you

well we're now doing beyond OK.

thank you <33

love (it) like this

The new semester has started for a month and it has been awesome indeed.

i've moved from my previous dorm to my new sea-side apt downtown with special people living 6 floors below.

this far, i've been spending my days staying late by whoring over the internet *thank you, neighbor for the influence that now I'm spending hours over rakuten and yahoo auction idly haha*- talking and cuddling to bed- waking up late- another morning greetings=p - wake up knock by our other neighbor on my door - rushing to get ready and catch the bus- classes - another bus ride - wandering in town - find somewhere for dinner - and keep the same routine

Bored? Sure not.

Here I go, counting my blessings

How many of you go back from school, finding your guy is craving for some flowers to decorate his balcony, and get picked up on his back all the way to the florist because he knows your high heeled shoes are killing you?I know its cheesy. But well it's a good reason to laugh your bums off anyway.

How many of you can wake up in the morning knowing the one you care the most is beside you, snoring peacefully in your arms?

How many of you can open the window and hear the sea-wind breezing?

How many of you can spend the whole day slacking off without having to do any school works?

You see how my life here has been blessed tremendously.

I bet not so many people have the chance to do the same routine as I do and I thank my heavenly Daddy sincerely for these wonderful privileges.

And thank you to the one that has been the subject of those written words above=)

couldnt ask for more=)

its been a great great week indeed.

thanks to the one Ive been spending most of my time with all these days(;

my family and school stuffs have been great

i got home from my parttime job, had a warm welcome home hug, and a surprisingly awaited dinner

i had my health checkup which turned out to be alright

we watched movie and cuddled around to bed

we walked hands in hands, wandered around the town, 'rejoicing our tummies' with super good foods

we stole kisses around

i got my sallary

i started joining the japanese drum club in my uni and it was sooo much fun

i woke up with a bright sun shine, a light kiss, and a sweet ' morning babe, I've got your spongebob movies downloaded, wanna watch?'

i'm here knowing someone does care<33

1st day.3rd semester

LIFE IS HARD

P R A Y

DO GOOD

KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED

words from a friend

a true friend never walks away

a true friend will always stay

a true friend looks out for you    

                        

a true friend will guard your secret, like a precious gift

a true friend is always there for you, to give you a helpful lift

a true friend tries to make you smile, tries to replace that frown

they may not always succeed, but they rarely let you down

these arms for you are open

this heart for you does care

and when i think you need me, i'll try to always be there

i'll listen to your fear, i promise not to laugh

i'll comfort you from falling tears

i'll make this friendship  last

i'll keep you near to my heart

i'll always hold you even when we're miles apart

I hope I am to you, everything you are to me

for the friendship we have, is a special one indeed.

-denise-

yes, you guys are everything

special dedications for Ndutty, Denise, Hanna, Sarra, Shane

i always have reasons to hate the RAIN

it's been a hard day for me.

1. i got up finding it was raining outside. 

2. i gotta drag my lazy ass out of the bed because I had to withdraw money to buy the one-year-pass bus ticket which costs like HEEELLL...*okay if you say $1000 for a bus card is cheap.It's not hell for you and I raise my hand,hail you

3. i went out from my room finding a warning from my apt's security..saying im not supposed to put any private property in the passage *yea I tried to dry my used umbrella there

4. i had to ride on my bike and hold the half-broken umbrella at the same time for a 10mins ride in the middle of the rain. 

5. the wind kept blowing my umbrella.

6. i got to the mall finding I cant withdraw the money for some technical errors, probably due to moslem's super big day tomorrow.

it  pissed me off because the bus ticket is only sold til 2 days from now.and it took me 3 days to withdraw the whole money because the bank limits me to take only $500 per day and i gotta withdraw another $500 for my friend.

7. i went back to my apt still with bicycle and umbrella for the torturing 10mins.

8. here i am..pissed off

http://foureyes.deviantart.com

WELL, rain has never been as pretty as that pic for me.never been good.

it's been raining for the whole 3 days here and I've always cursed on rainy lonely days.

if you say rain is such a romantic time.

if you say rain can sooth you up.

if you say rain can calm you down.

i say C L I C HE.

rain wets your clothes.

rain ruins your shoes.

rain makes it less convenient to go out especially here, where I have to go around by bicycle.

rain brings gloomy atmosphere for me.

rain ruins my mood.

rain drives me melancholic.

rain makes me miss you. 

if only you were here, I'd probably hate this rain a little less.

http://jetlinanhedonia.deviantart.com

i miss THESE RETARDED FACES

(clockwise from top) Kokoh Lie Lestari, Yuri Ardila, Iqro Anugrah, Aditya Simapranata, Himawan Mulyo Adi, Garri Juanda

see you in less than a week!!

im the one who read and re-think =)

WHAT OPRAH HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was nottreating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.Don't stay because you think "it will get better".
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why
would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. 
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything.He will use it against you later.You cannot change a man's behavior.

Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.A man will only treat you the way you
ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.You should not be the one doing all the bending...
compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...

Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals.

Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. 
When a man always knows where you are, and you're

always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.Make him miss you sometimes...

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...
You'll make someone smile, another rethink herchoices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.