another kind of looking back

It's the last day in 2009 and I am beyond thankful that I am still here in a super good condition, physically and mentally. Physically, yes, because I have no health issues, and mentally because I just finished packing for my new year trip 6 hours from now.

And in addition to those essential reasons, I look back and find stacks of blessing my heavenly Father has showered me through out the year. Here goes the major list:

JANUARY

- got my temporary job

- tuition fee: paid

- passed all the subjects I took

FEBRUARY

- Jason Mraz concert

- Osaka - Kyoto trip

- Taiko practices to save me from endless boredom in Beppu

- good parties

- new job at McDonald

MARCH

- unplanned trip to Malaysia

- great reunion with Denise and abundant good times

- new cameras to accompany my previous family of fisheye, holga, and diana

- succeeded the performance in Entrance Ceremony

APRIL

- another good time performing at PicaPica

- Honor scholarship

- endless BBQ parties

- hanami and new batch of mates

MAY

- good health and mental condition through out the chaotic preparation for Indonesian week

JUNE

- good friend who was there 24/7 to cheer me up during the breakdowns and sleepless nights

- super fun fellowship camp

JULY

- SUCCESS OF INDONESIAN WEEK 2009!!

- birthday blast

AUGUST

- nagano trip and Global Education Program Camp

- IN DO NE SI A !! indescribable bliss with the family and friends back home

SEPTEMBER

- BALI!!

- brightspot

- safe trip back to Japan

OCTOBER

- New spirit for the new semester

- good subjects to fight

- another camp with high school students

- halloween blast

NOVEMBER

- right on time 'faith reminder'

- peace of mind and new hopes (sounds cliche but i seriously mean it)

DECEMBER

- passed the 1st screenings for Daikin and Kyushu Oil scholarship

- fun online shopping haha

- fukuoka trip to close the year

and of course, endless support and love from people around me.

Thanks, Lord, for keeping me safe in your embrace..

2009 has been a blast and I believe, 2010 has more in store awaiting.

Happy early new year everyone!

screwed it up? not likely

I just had an interview, the second screening for a $2000 scholarship from Daikin company. Does the company ring a bell in your head? Well, it's a pretty famous air conditioner manufacturer.

So how did it go?

I can say it was a mess. The interview was in Japanese and it was a group interview. Dang! Two things I expect the least for an interview.

They didnt ask that many questions, I didnt even feel like I've said something qualified to be judged for a scholarship interview while one of my 'competitors' in the group spoke fluent English and got the highest GPA in my batch.

So, technically, I screwed it up. But I dont give up, since everything has happened, the only thing I can do now are pray and fast because didnt the Bible mention that God always answers prayers of the righteous? :)

Well, miracles do happen dont they?

But despite of all the mess, I had so much fun writing application for the 1st screening. They asked us to make a story about credibility where Pichon-kun, the company mascot is the main character in it. *yep, for the first time I can use my imagination to pass a scholarship screening.Woot!*

So, here goes the story I wrote..

At the beginning, when human had not existed, the earth consisted of only 4 big islands; fire, ice, water, and rock island. Water Island, inhabited by drops of water, was the most prosper, peaceful, and the strongest among all. It is all because of the leader, King Pichon.
King Pichon had reigned for more than 2000 years and during his service, he had won most of the wars with brilliant strategies, he designed all infrastructures in the island, he solved every crime cases with wise solutions, and he successfully made no one live in poverty with his thoughtful income and resource distribution. All water drops in the island loved their king and kept electing him for 5 consecutive periods.
Not only to his island, King Pichon was also well known for its huge help when Rock Island was direly destroyed by earthquake. He moved all water drops to save and help rehabilitating the Rock Island. Because of King Pichon's initiative, the Rock Island could quickly recover from the disaster and continued its existence.
One day, the Ice Island sent its warriors and attacked Water Island. King Pichon was badly injured and the water island was cursed to be frozen for 500 years. The water drops were really sad because their strong leader lay powerless on the hospital bed. A new leader was elected to replace Pichon while he struggled to recover. During that time, all water drop visited King Pichon everyday with food, medicine, and other things to make him feel better. Finally, after 500 years, King Pichon was freed from the curse and gained his strength.
All water drops in the island were very happy and made celebration parties. They asked King Pichon to reign back as their leader. King Pichon refused because he felt guilty of the loss in the previous war but the water drops convinced him that he has the power, wisdom, and quality to be their leader. King Pichon finally accepted their request and reigned back.
However, when they were celebrating King Pichon's recovery, the fire attacked the water island. But this time, King Pichon defended the island by conducting the water drops to form huge tidal waves, but the flames from Fire Island were really strong and the water drops started to lose their power.
When they were about to give up, the rocks unexpectedly came in rescue. They formed very thick stone walls all over the island that could not be penetrated nor burned by the flames while King Pichon took the lead of water drops to keep attacking the flames with immense waves. After a long struggle, the water island under King Pichon's command and the help of rock island won the war. The water drops were really thankful to the rocks but it surprisingly turned out that those rocks came to rescue because they remembered the massive help and support from King Pichon and the water drops while they were in trouble.
After the war, the water and rock island built a good mutual relationship and water drops lived peacefully under the lead of King Pichon with his power and wisdom.

King Pichon is an illustration of a company with social credibility. When a company has gained credibility from its customers through its quality, good record, and social contributions as the example of King Pichon who was trusted by his nation, even when the company faces a hard time, the customers would not easily move to its competitors. Even more, the costumers would still trust the company regarding its credibility and when the company gained its power back, the customers would stick to the brand, and be the main power of a company to strive in the tight competition.

With such good records, proven quality, in balance with the social contribution, Daikin Industries,Ltd. has what it takes to gain its credibility and thus can retain its customers from time to time.

*random, I know, but I hope you enjoy it as much as I did when I wrote it* :p

pardon my nerves

I've always proclaimed myself as a plurality appreciator with above-average tolerance yet however, having a close interaction with Japanese people in my daily live does get me on my nerve sometimes. It's either the language barriers, the cultural difference, or well, maybe we just aren't meant to live side by side.

So, I've recently lost my endurance to live in this far-away-from-home land where:

the kids look super cute in their distinct Asian look and the school uniform that makes me drool. But the cuteness doesn't last long. Once they grow a bit older, they would turn into geeks who get no life other than stacks of comics and video games. Then they grow a little bit more. Turning into youngsters who get pimped-up with their self-proclaimed-cool outfits which I don't get how could they think its cool, most of the time.

The young ladies would find it's hard to see clearly behind their mascara because it's just too thick and some of them are proud to not knowing where Australia really is because they think it's cute. (Well, they may not realize the rest of the world simply calls it DUMB)

Then they would turn to big-headed adults who can't even order properly at McDonalds, complain at their own stupid mistakes, and give an 'urgh foreigners' look when those foreigners try to speak Japanese while 90% of those Japanese can't even pronounce a single proper sentence in English. Unfair? Yes.

Then finally, by the (almost) end of their cycle of life, the would turn into grannies who wait faithfully at home for their husbands who spend pennies they've earned on pachinko slots or nights on karaoke places accompanied by bottles of sake and young pretty girls to talk, touch, and God knows what happens.

Geez.......take me out.

p.s please be wise enough not to take any offense, it's mere opinion.

tribute to Mike Leu

it's been a while since i have you on my portfolio
the liquid source of happiness i always run to
the desirable security i won't throw
and the perfect substitute of my sorrow

you bail me out when i fall
we merge, we consolidate
strive to stand still while others fluctuate
cause we know we can get through it all

it's a four-years bond we're holding
we're taking risks, investing wishes
don't ruin it, let's wait to maturity
we never know the yield waiting
and though it won't last to eternity
i'm sure enough it's gonna worth the bruises

** this is the result of studying hundreds of pages on my Financial Market and Institutions textbook. Cheers for the upcoming final! ;)

the FALL

the best season to dress up

still drool over complex geometries.

result of one oita kotsu ride

I promised to post something smart but instead, Im posting these random lines that keep on floating on my head. here they go..

This is a story

of a phase when I was so weary

randomness was at its most,

i somehow felt lost

i wanted a guy, i was in a hurry

so i decided to step across

* i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for a dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

there he was popping on my block

doesnt drink doesnt smoke

he looked so fine, he's one of a kind

stared at me through his camera lens

he did send shivers to my sense

but he believes in his God and I believe in mine

so...

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for another dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

and there i met another guy

looked to my side, started his first line

i couldnt help blushing when he stared into my eye

he got straight As and a golden heart

three years went to waste, it was real hard

because he believes in his God and i believe in mine

so...

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for another dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

then there was another one

smokes, drinks, parties, and gets high

we were happy though i know we're wry

tried to make things work but we're finally done

she was a girl and so am i

STILL, she believes in her God and i believe in mine

so..

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for another dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

i was about to burst and cry

guess it just wasnt my time

and well rushing to a guy sounds like a crime

i'd rather be here and stay a while til I...

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for THE RIGHT dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

p.s this is a fiction. all similarities are mere coincidences.

pennyless

I wanna go on an exchange to Kyoto with my photography club.

I wanna go on a small trip to Nagasaki for quarter break with my housemates.

I wanna go to Paya's birthday this weekend.

I want those less-than-$50 stuffs on Ebay.

I have to pay my tuition fee.

But I am pennyless.

I literally have 0 yen now and I have bills awaiting.

I really have no idea how to pay them and it hurts to see how my friends are spending hundreds of bucks on a bag, jeans, or a pair of shoes.

If only they know that those stuffs can pay my tuition fee...

but well everyone has their own blessings anyway, I guess it just takes a little longer for mine to come

to be smart.

The more I see, the shallower my blog seems like.

Guess I should stop this trash and post something smarter instead.

Oh well, how about some essays and applications I submitted? Haha

too good it's not good

NEXT WINTER, BABY

i miss you.

see you soon :)

jaws dropped

indeed. when i checked this video.

KUDOS!!!

people moving all the time inside a perfect straight line

don't you wanna curve away?

turning legal

Do no fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:31

With this nice reminder of how valuable I am in His eyes, and all the best wishes from my dearest people, I turned 20.

Thank God I had a really nice one ;)

fly fly away

I feel like trotting along Legian,

lounging at Zanzibar,

driving back to Uluwatu,

flying high high,

grabbing good stuffs from the fridge,

dipping into the pool

oh Bali

the F word

I've just got back from dinner with my 'boyfriends'.  Yuri, one of the best boyfriends of mine here just came back after about two months in another island, where he got transferred to Ritsumeikan Kyoto, and it was so nice to have him back. We spent the day with the rest of the 'gang', the same old crowd I hang out with during my first days in Japan. I never realized how I miss these 'quality times' so much...

After class, we went out to pack our tummy with japanese noodle,spend hours listening to them telling their own love stories, spiced up with stupid jokes and idle comments, laughed my ass off and well.. they really made my day.

And yesterday, I spent the whole break time during my part time job talking on the phone with Hanna. We've been pretty busy with our own activities and haven't had the chance to talk a lot after the first week she got back here. It really touched me to know she had been praying for me to get the honor scholarship and for my dad so he can stay in a good health.It might seem simple, but it means a lot for me. Especially she was the one to call me and ask whether I get the scholarship or not because she had been worrying about it

It feels so great to be the with the ones I can trust and feel comfortable with because I know they don't fake their laughter nor tears, they can tease me because we're too close to get offended, they're on my side through my rises and falls, and the most important one, they don't talk shits behind me.

Now I realized that FRIENDS with  all the happiness and affection they bring are another blessings I've been taking for granted and I am fully thankful for them.

 

beyond blessed

I was facing a severe financial crisis for a month since I stopped getting honor scholarships last march, which means I no longer get $500 wired to my account monthly. It was a huge lost for me indeed.

I am working part time in McDonalds...and even though I have worked my ass off, using every single free time I have to earn money, I could only earn 43,000yen out of 70,000 yen I need to live properly here. I was stressed up, worrying about how to survive the next days and paying the tuition fee without asking my parents's aid seemed to be impossible.

However, I always believe that God sent me here for some reasons, and as He has always guided me and provided my needs , I know he would never abandon me. And every time those financial worries bother my thoughts, God always guides me through my night devotion. He always says the right things to keep me stand still up to this very moment.

A few days ago, my worries stroke back and I started to think about how to get through the upcoming days, how to pay my tuition fee, how to pay this and that, but my night devotion reminded me:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear ^.Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life ^?But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

It hit the right button and I felt so guilty for worrying instead of trusting my heavenly father and keeping my faith through prayers and devotions.

And God never forget to fulfill his word...

He made me succeed the first screenings for honor scholarship and the selection to be the system assistant in my uni..still a long way to go til I officially get those, but well......I am keeping my faith, and I believe God has made a beautiful plan for me, so even if I fail, I believe it happens for reasons, for the better. =)

And as God fulfills His word to answer my prayers..so would He for your prayers as well.

Stop worrying, start trusting the Lord, and everything would be given to you.

and after all, remember, you never walk alone.

(not) z e r o

it's 5.07 am and here I am, glued in front of my laptop with eyes wide opened. just get done with the stacks of home works for my Japanese class tomorrow, one assessment for the previous presentation we had, one A4 paper long report in Japanese about environmental issues, and one evaluation about Japanese study. Well.. I am pretty much satisfied with it since I guess it's one of those little amount of home works on which  I put suffice effort instead of just copying from my friend. Yes, this is my first time making a 'qualified' and 'contented' writing on my own, struggling on goole translate and online dictionary for about an hour to finally get done with it and I feel so fine. 

Anyway, my sudden effort wasn't reasonless. I just happened to bump into my friend's facebook account to find out  that she just got accepted in UCLA for applied math *well  done, Pik! I'm so proud of you!* and it really shot me in the head. 

It made me look back and question what have I been doing in the past 3 semesters here? what have I learned? have I really gained something?

and..I came out with the conclusion, aside from my Japanese and life's practical things *explain you later*, I seem to gain Z E R O..sigh

well what can you expect to gain from a lecture from a professor whose English is not even understandable because they're speaking with strong Japanese accent? 

what on earth could I have gained for taking bioscience and earth science since I am majoring on international business?

how could I even get strongly rooted to the basic principles of economic if I could just sleep during the lecture for the whole semester and read the whole book one night before just to  pass the exam?

DANG!

it was a really really nice reminder for me not to slack this much. well, my uni may not be that good, some of my professors may not speak English clearly, but well it always goes back to me anyway. If I could just stand staying up for the whole lecture, putting my best effort to listen, take notes, and review, I may gain some more.

Whoam. It's gonna be a tough work but well my friend's success would always be hanging invisibly on my forehead, reminding me to put some more effort on my study.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed..

not supposed to be here

take down your defences, use no common senses

supposed to be working on the script for Indonesian week 

and my accounting assignment. darn.

dear baby girl

hey baby girl
it's another night of our idle talks online
another routine of 'how are you baby, im doing fine'
because with you i cant discuss about stocks, politics, life, and what's ahead
oh girl, you know nothing about these shoes Im bidding on
and would you argue back on which lens I should put on
so ive been filling your inbox with stacks of 'i miss you's and 'i love you's instead
but you're fine with those and I'm not surprised

well you're just a kid
and life aint a fairy tale, baby, that's bullshit
if only you were smarter
things for me might have got harder
but you're just a kid
that's why nothing seems wrong with it

i've been living in a world you dont know, baby
sleeping with another girl on our anniversary
hugging tight while we were texting
sorry baby girl for the late reply, i was busy kissing
but you never doubt me and things become so easy

well you're just a kid
and life aint a fairy tale, baby, that's bullshit
if only you were smarter
things for me might have got harder
but you're just a kid
that's why nothing seems wrong with it

oh baby girl, being with you has made my burden so light
my friends got babes and so do i
but when they have to squeeze their brain to lie
i only need to write you 'i love you baby, i miss you' and everything would be alright

sorry baby girl, i never meant to hurt you. no no.
i just cant help being smart, yea, im not that shallow
and hey, I aint angel with halo

*anyone interested to arrange the melody for those lines?

one way

there's no other way nor U-turn

the trip

just got back from one-week-trip to Hong Kong and KL. a lot to write but my eyes refuse to open any longer. 

so here I post some of the pics to spill some tiny bits of the whole fun.

welcome to Hong Kong

the hustle and bustle of the city

cant help admiring the colorful neon-banners

one hectic corner around Bukit Bintang

the famous twin

genting. 5am

.

new beer in town haha

the room I stayed in. the mess I caused. the one I now miss.

the essence of the trip; this dumb face I havent seen for ages. 

The one I used to spend every single day of my long break before I came to Japan with, honking outside my door, driving  somewhere unplanned with private jokes, super songs and idle talks along the way, sneaking around, and do bunch of other random stuffs. I MISS YOU!!

because I said "one day I'll be knocking on  your door"

and there I was =)

hello goodbye

i miss when you sleep. when you sleep next to me.

i miss when we drive. when we drive in your car.

i miss where we were. THERE.

whisper hello, Ive missed you quite terribly.

counting down

its 5 hours til i get onto the bus that takes me to the airport and off i go..

finally being away from this too-small town, 4 hours of japanese drum practices everyday, and 6 hours of part time job..

awaayy...flying back to the equator, where speaking and reading would be way easier for me..

I still cant believe this (since I just planned this trip two weeks ago) but I would fly to KL in hours, and one night staying over in HongKong. yaay..

cant wait..cant wait...

"..coz one day i'll be knocking on your door.."

and there I'd be. =)

tadaima

just got back from 4 days getaway in Osaka and Kyoto. 

spending every hours trotting along the massive and crowded roads with beyond cute and super generous hunk to guide me around.

visiting some temples. 

taking piles of pics. 

getting on and off of subways, monorail, and trains. 

pursuing my childhood dream to visit universal studio. 

dancing and singing along with JASON MRAZ from the one-meter-away-front row.

staying in a darn sophisticated and cool house hosted by that hunk and the whole warm family.

eating. 

eating. 

eating. 

those four days were effin brilliant.

God is good. I know =)

lately

nothing much. bored. what can you expect?

hello, goodbye

off my housemates go and i'm officially alone in my apt..

just listened to an AJ Rafael's song Nicky always listens to..and I suddenly miss him with his ukulele I always laugh at...=(

how I wish I could go home..

but i ended up here in my room, wishing them a safe trip and a happy holiday.

cant wait to hug them welcome in two months T_T

end of my 3rd semester

here ends my 3rd semester..

with

unsatisfying score for my Japanese test

abstract questions for business management exam

seems to be impossible scholarships

no job

all housemates going home for two freaking months

if only I could go home

or you could stay a little longer

I may not be crying at this right second

i miss you, already=(

now i know =)

should be working on my report

 in the middle of these pressures and burdens due to report deadlines and final exams, reading a tender

" you know, you're the sincerest person I've ever met" 

from an 'old friend' of mine on msn is truly encouraging and supporting.

thank you,mate =)

gotta continue on my reports...

got it

need I say more?? =)

thanks to Edo, Ryan, Gilang, and Garri for helping.haha

c r a v i n g

oh my

these night-routines I'd soon miss

seven reports

the effects of having seven reports in less than a month:

- get over-freaked-out

- busy deciding which to do first

- working half way, leave it, work on another one, leave it

- exhausted

- end up whoring over youtube, listening to gospels*trying to get soothed and hoping for sudden inspiring blessings* and here, doodling on my blog.

heck yea.

truly fantastic.

floating and flying like a kite on string..

over the twilight you're listening to  me

and when they say that I'm just a terrible kite

you tell them you're proud of my marvelous flight

the dope works by Julia Fullerton

walk away

whereisjuan.deviantart.com

i'm gonna remember you

you're gonna remember me

it feels so wrong it feels so right

but we're still having fun and that's the key

thebattleofone.deviantart.com

2009

a new year.

new dreams.

new blessings.

a new beginning.

and I'm fully grateful, I had a marvelous one  =)