you (distance) me

you catch my eyes with your smiles
you fill me with a million butterflies
your presence makes my day
when you're around there's no more grey

whenever you play a song
you make me wanna sing along
oh why do we wait for so long
cause in my arms is where you belong

gotta cross the miles for a kiss
but why should we be apart
i'll always keep you close to my heart
look around, there's no love like this

even when i'm gone, you'll never be alone
i'll be with you through the phone
and you know it won't be long
til the next time you have me all day long

summer

It wasn't love at first sight
Oh you didn't really catch my eye
but your lame jokes turned my gloomy days bright
and now not seeing you makes me cry

I love the way my heart races faster with your kiss
and your hugs are surely to-be-missed
you have the cutest way of calling my name
if I have wrinkles from smiling, yes it's you to blame

I can bite you like an oreo
Hug you like super mario
You're kissable like a teddy bear
even your snore is nice to hear
That's what i'll miss about you
and i know you'll miss me too ;p

I'd give anything to turn back time
walking hand in hands, laughing like fools
rolling in bed, forgetting schools
but what can i do, i gotta say 'see you next time'
I promise, wait a little and I'll pop up on your doorstep
or maybe..right on your lap :D

the (good) bye

you were the long awaited

you had it all, swept me off my feet

overjoyed, my heart skipped a beat

a fine picture of us, perfectly painted

they said we're good together

I once thought we're meant for each other

but then we had too much to conquer

the going was one rough roller coaster

there's more than meets the eyes

differences, the coming distances

got us questioning if it's gonna worth the bruises

so that's where we waved good bye

fate leads,

time tells,

there must be something good from this bye

2010 ; the end

been ages, Blogspot!

and 2010 has come to its end. Damn, what have I achieved???

Well if I have to wrap 2010 in one word it would be BEYOND.

Why so?

Simply because everything that has happened to me through out this year is indeed beyond my thought and comprehension. God has shown his works in my life for sure.

I Started the year with a very risky decision.

Yes, I spent the only money I had in my bank account to go on a Fukuoka trip. I shopped, I ate good food, I had a good time, while my tuition remained unpaid.

Crazy? Desperate more likely.

I tried my best to save up but I just didnt earn enough money so a glimpse of thought slipped to my mind 'maybe God wants me to come back to Indonesia'.

But, I got the scholarship! Right on time to pay my tuition as I wrote on my previous post.

So long story short, my 2010 started with a beyond belief miracle that teared me out.

Then I failed to go to London but I got the internship in Panasonic Indonesia instead.

Back in February, I couldnt figure out why it seemed like God wants me to go back to Indonesia.

But just as my 7th semester started and my batch mates started to get drowned in their job hunting activities, I got a job offer from Panasonic Indonesia.

AS SIMPLE AS THAT. No need for interview, no need for cv submission. I just need to submit my graduation certificate and I can work there.

Once again God has eventually revealed what was behind His plan.

The next thing that happened out of my plan; I got a boyfriend.

I was already over those i-wanna-look-for-a-boyfriend-phase and I was determined to focus more on my uni activities which led me to this event called Heart for Haiti, where we met.

Long story short, I'm dating this very nice guy.

A Christian.

A drummer.

A singer.

A guitarist.

A bassist.

A chef.

A comedian.

A family man.

A smart ass.

A loving person

A boyfriend of mine :)

It's funny how this huge thing happened when I expected it the least.

Thank God.

Then the miracles go on.

I applied for Kumon Camp which offered me an opportunity to earn approx. $ 1,800 in 3 weeks but I failed. boo.

Then I applied for another program in Okinawa which also paid well but I failed, again.

Instead, God led me to this voluntary English Mission Camp in Korea.

It got me questioning why voluntary while He knows I need the money?

But as I participated in the program, I realized how much I learned and experienced in one month time.

And right this very moment, I am applying for a scholarship which requires certificates of my extra curricular activities and this program has been one of the highlights of my CV along with the required certificate.

Lesson learned: Seek first the Kingdom of God and everything will be added upon you.

Another thing that opened my eyes to see how God has indeed planned everything for me from the very beginning.

I've been participated in exchange programs with high school students all over Japan where I teach English and introduce my culture for the past two years. Out of a very casual conversation with the director, he suddenly offered me a job to work with an HR consultant in Tokyo.

I was amazed. Not that I got the job already, but still... while other people have to race neck and neck to get a job, I got two offers before even looking for the job.

Even though I still don't know for sure about what I would do after my graduation, I still thank God for the opportunities and hope.

And through 2010, I have realized that as long as we commit everything we do in God's hand, He will show us the way.

And even though it didnt seem to be the one we want at first, but in the end He alone will open our eyes that those things happen for a bigger reason. The best possible for us.

I simply learned how big HE is compared to my thoughts.

"..too wonderful for comprehension, like nothing ever seen or heard..

who can grasp Your infinite wisdom

who can fathom the depth of Your love

You are beautiful beyond description,

majesty and throned above"

Let's start 2011 with these amazing verses:

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you..plans to proser you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

and Jeremiah 32: 27

Iam the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

So, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!

Have a blessed one! :)

twenty four

It's been an hour and half since I stepped out of Hong Kong International airport on my flight transit from Fukuoka to Kuala Lumpur so I had 24 hours to explore the country.

It was pretty nerve wrecking at first since I didnt speak the local language and the only clue I had was to meet my native Hong Kong friend in Tsim Sha Tsui later that day. So i asked around until I finally got my bus ticket.

I waited on the line along with the familiar faces speaking the language I know by heart. Yes, a bunch of Indonesian workers who just landed to try their luck in Hong Kong as domestic helpers.

After a while my double decker bus came so I hopped in with full excitement. I chose to sit on the most front sit on the upper part of the bus so that I would be able to see the whole scenery clearly.

The view was great. Neatly done bridges, ships sailing in and out the waterway, traffic signs written in Chinese characters, constructions in progress, and the bright blue sky which made the view even more mesmerizing.

Then after around 30 minutes driving, the bus started to enter the main part of the city. The view became more amusing. Hustle bustle of the city, people from different ethnic groups strolling around the street brushing shoulders one to another, not-so-clean flats, alleys fully packed with stores and pedestrians, and the colorful banners that added the magical effect on the district.

I managed to get off at Tsim Sha Tsui which turned out to be located in Kowloon island and still had 4.5 hours until I met my friend who was still at work so I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood.

The stores were awesome. They sell many different kind of stuffs, from typical Hong Kong merchandises, knock-off of high end branded bags, to chinese traditional medicine. There was also a wide range of clothing brand as well as rows of restaurants from chinese food to mongolian buffet which was utterly mouth watering.

After getting too exhausted, I sat for a bit at the nearby city park waiting for my friend. Once we met, he took my to a local chinese restaurant which served awesome food. After the late dinner, we went to the famous Hong Kong Port. It was really beautiful to see the city lights from the building on the main island of Hong Kong.

We could actually take ferry to cross the bay and get to the main island of Hong Kong but since I had no time so we just spent a bit of our time there. And my camera was kinda crappy so I couldnt take proper picture of the amazing view.

It was pretty late when we finally walked to the bus stop. I had to catch the last bus to go back to the airport where I would be sleeping and wait for my connecting flight the next morning.

It was a short yet amazing visit to Hong Kong and I do wish for another chance to come back any time soon.

(.)

ini euphoria hampa
sisa-sisa rasa
tak beralas
tak berbalas

hati ambil bagian
asa racuni pikiran
rajut, rajut impian
tinggalkan heran

stimulan rindu
seberkas sendu
obsesi semu

kamu

heart calls

There you were through a glance
In awe I lost balance
Dancing fingers on those strings
Oh What a shiver u bring

Through the melodic harmony
You turn all the agony,
To an ecstatic rhapsody
You indeed are the remedy

Star, star, my heart calls
Catch, catch, i fall

God is Good

I've intended to post this 'testimony' from 2 weeks ago but been postponing due to the exam week.

So.. I've figured out what God has planned me.

1. I didn't get enough sponsorship for the One Young World Conference in London

but He provides me with an internship opportunity in Panasonic Indonesia instead.

2. I GOT THE DAIKIN SCHOLARSHIP.

I cried indeed when the result came up. It was a pure miracle since I know how I screwed the interview and all I could say was just Thank you Lord for loving me this much.

The result came up 2 weeks before my tuition payment deadline. I had 0 Yen in my bank account, I hadn't asked any money from my parents, I was just praying and there are 2 verses that always keep me struggling no matter how many people say it's hard, or it's impossible since I know 'I can do all things through Him who strengthens me' because 'the One who lives in me is greater than the one who lives in this world'.

Now I've seen another miracle in my life that has proven God's help is never late and never limit His power for you'll see how everything is indeed possible when you're with Him.

3. I didn't get the Kyushu Oil scholarship

But He gave me a peace of mind. I wasn't disappointed not even moan about it. I know if I don't get it, He has another plan, bigger and better for me.

So here I am, staying up all night waiting for the early morning bus that will take me to the airport and off I go, back to Indonesia, will be home altogether with the whole family.

God is good, aint He? :)

TIME

Just got back from my friday fellowship, which I regularly attend every friday, such an oasis where I can be with the group of youth, praising, worshipping, sharing thoughts, and growing in faith together. I've learned a lot from this awesome family and so have I today.

The theme for today's message was CELEBRATION IN TIME. It emphasizes on how God has planned everything for us and makes them happen in His own time. Yes, His very own time which is beyond my limited intelligence and understanding of what's good and what's not.

I have personally experienced how God has not let me get what I wanted and how hard it was to face failures yet later on my eyes were also opened to see how God has replaced it with something bigger and better which I never thought of before. By rooting to this principle of He makes everything beautiful in His time, I've never been let down by failures because I know they all happen for reasons, for the better.

The first 3 months of this semester, I had been complaining that I barely got my turn in McDonalds, where I've been working for the past months, because new people are coming so they need to divide the available time equally, which means, less turn for me to work and automatically, less monthly income. I worried a lot, and I did cry wondering how I would be able to save up and pay my tuition fee.

Before the christmas break, I also struggled to find another part time job yet I found none.

In my lowest point, I was reminded of how I had been dragged away from God. I started to listen to online sermons and God did speak to me through those messages. I realized how I had changed. I forgot that whatever happens in my life, is a part of God's plan. I had been busy moaning about the little hole and forgot to sit back, relax, and enjoy the whole picture.

I went back to Him and found how He opened the ways for me to earn money. I applied for two scholarships and passed both of the 1st screenings. I couldn't find part time job to do during the Christmas break because God wanted me to enjoy the break and let me go for a little getaway to another city, well He even provided enough money for me to shop and live a proper living up to this very moment even though I have less part time job schedule. And I have more time to study during the weekend.

Now that I look back, I see how what I thought were failures unexpectedly turned out to be blessings I couldn't recognize back then. So I am thankful that He has brought me back to Him and here I am, healthy, prosper, and with many hopes I've pinned on Him looking to be made come true, or to be replaced with something better.

Yes, I am crossing finger for the sponsorship result that will decide whether I'll go to London or not this February, and 2 scholarships result that will provide me enough money to pay my tuition fee, monthly living cost for the whole year, even my trip back home ;)

A lot to hope indeed yet I know, I put those hopes on the right hands.

"..Then You know that I am the Lord; those who hope in ME will not be dissapointed.."

Isaiah 49:23

2010

ive decided to write down my resolutions and dreams. so by the end of the year I can see what I've done, and how my dreams come true, or are replaced by some other plans God has prepared for the better.

Here goes the list.

Resolution:

- no sleeping in class

- no more job cancellation, skipping church and fellowship for unnecessary excuses

- read the subject materials before class

- fast every Monday and Thursday

- FINISH THE BIBLE!

- browse for internship

- no more bible reading on the bus. it must be AT HOME before school

- night devotion is compulsory

- less complaining

- go back to taiko practices

- learn Spanish and French

- more social work

Wishes:

- daikin, kyushu oil, and honor scholarship *huge AMEN for these*

- academic merit awards (which also means 4 GPA)

- indonesia in February, Europe in summer break

- internship at British Council London

- perfect health for my family and the best university for my sister

- one piece from each of these: complex geometries, chloe sevigny for opening ceremony, junya watanaba for garcons, alexander wang, and well I basically wont resist anything from Oaknyc and reform :)

神様今年もお願いいたします。。

another kind of looking back

It's the last day in 2009 and I am beyond thankful that I am still here in a super good condition, physically and mentally. Physically, yes, because I have no health issues, and mentally because I just finished packing for my new year trip 6 hours from now.

And in addition to those essential reasons, I look back and find stacks of blessing my heavenly Father has showered me through out the year. Here goes the major list:

JANUARY

- got my temporary job

- tuition fee: paid

- passed all the subjects I took

FEBRUARY

- Jason Mraz concert

- Osaka - Kyoto trip

- Taiko practices to save me from endless boredom in Beppu

- good parties

- new job at McDonald

MARCH

- unplanned trip to Malaysia

- great reunion with Denise and abundant good times

- new cameras to accompany my previous family of fisheye, holga, and diana

- succeeded the performance in Entrance Ceremony

APRIL

- another good time performing at PicaPica

- Honor scholarship

- endless BBQ parties

- hanami and new batch of mates

MAY

- good health and mental condition through out the chaotic preparation for Indonesian week

JUNE

- good friend who was there 24/7 to cheer me up during the breakdowns and sleepless nights

- super fun fellowship camp

JULY

- SUCCESS OF INDONESIAN WEEK 2009!!

- birthday blast

AUGUST

- nagano trip and Global Education Program Camp

- IN DO NE SI A !! indescribable bliss with the family and friends back home

SEPTEMBER

- BALI!!

- brightspot

- safe trip back to Japan

OCTOBER

- New spirit for the new semester

- good subjects to fight

- another camp with high school students

- halloween blast

NOVEMBER

- right on time 'faith reminder'

- peace of mind and new hopes (sounds cliche but i seriously mean it)

DECEMBER

- passed the 1st screenings for Daikin and Kyushu Oil scholarship

- fun online shopping haha

- fukuoka trip to close the year

and of course, endless support and love from people around me.

Thanks, Lord, for keeping me safe in your embrace..

2009 has been a blast and I believe, 2010 has more in store awaiting.

Happy early new year everyone!

screwed it up? not likely

I just had an interview, the second screening for a $2000 scholarship from Daikin company. Does the company ring a bell in your head? Well, it's a pretty famous air conditioner manufacturer.

So how did it go?

I can say it was a mess. The interview was in Japanese and it was a group interview. Dang! Two things I expect the least for an interview.

They didnt ask that many questions, I didnt even feel like I've said something qualified to be judged for a scholarship interview while one of my 'competitors' in the group spoke fluent English and got the highest GPA in my batch.

So, technically, I screwed it up. But I dont give up, since everything has happened, the only thing I can do now are pray and fast because didnt the Bible mention that God always answers prayers of the righteous? :)

Well, miracles do happen dont they?

But despite of all the mess, I had so much fun writing application for the 1st screening. They asked us to make a story about credibility where Pichon-kun, the company mascot is the main character in it. *yep, for the first time I can use my imagination to pass a scholarship screening.Woot!*

So, here goes the story I wrote..

At the beginning, when human had not existed, the earth consisted of only 4 big islands; fire, ice, water, and rock island. Water Island, inhabited by drops of water, was the most prosper, peaceful, and the strongest among all. It is all because of the leader, King Pichon.
King Pichon had reigned for more than 2000 years and during his service, he had won most of the wars with brilliant strategies, he designed all infrastructures in the island, he solved every crime cases with wise solutions, and he successfully made no one live in poverty with his thoughtful income and resource distribution. All water drops in the island loved their king and kept electing him for 5 consecutive periods.
Not only to his island, King Pichon was also well known for its huge help when Rock Island was direly destroyed by earthquake. He moved all water drops to save and help rehabilitating the Rock Island. Because of King Pichon's initiative, the Rock Island could quickly recover from the disaster and continued its existence.
One day, the Ice Island sent its warriors and attacked Water Island. King Pichon was badly injured and the water island was cursed to be frozen for 500 years. The water drops were really sad because their strong leader lay powerless on the hospital bed. A new leader was elected to replace Pichon while he struggled to recover. During that time, all water drop visited King Pichon everyday with food, medicine, and other things to make him feel better. Finally, after 500 years, King Pichon was freed from the curse and gained his strength.
All water drops in the island were very happy and made celebration parties. They asked King Pichon to reign back as their leader. King Pichon refused because he felt guilty of the loss in the previous war but the water drops convinced him that he has the power, wisdom, and quality to be their leader. King Pichon finally accepted their request and reigned back.
However, when they were celebrating King Pichon's recovery, the fire attacked the water island. But this time, King Pichon defended the island by conducting the water drops to form huge tidal waves, but the flames from Fire Island were really strong and the water drops started to lose their power.
When they were about to give up, the rocks unexpectedly came in rescue. They formed very thick stone walls all over the island that could not be penetrated nor burned by the flames while King Pichon took the lead of water drops to keep attacking the flames with immense waves. After a long struggle, the water island under King Pichon's command and the help of rock island won the war. The water drops were really thankful to the rocks but it surprisingly turned out that those rocks came to rescue because they remembered the massive help and support from King Pichon and the water drops while they were in trouble.
After the war, the water and rock island built a good mutual relationship and water drops lived peacefully under the lead of King Pichon with his power and wisdom.

King Pichon is an illustration of a company with social credibility. When a company has gained credibility from its customers through its quality, good record, and social contributions as the example of King Pichon who was trusted by his nation, even when the company faces a hard time, the customers would not easily move to its competitors. Even more, the costumers would still trust the company regarding its credibility and when the company gained its power back, the customers would stick to the brand, and be the main power of a company to strive in the tight competition.

With such good records, proven quality, in balance with the social contribution, Daikin Industries,Ltd. has what it takes to gain its credibility and thus can retain its customers from time to time.

*random, I know, but I hope you enjoy it as much as I did when I wrote it* :p

pardon my nerves

I've always proclaimed myself as a plurality appreciator with above-average tolerance yet however, having a close interaction with Japanese people in my daily live does get me on my nerve sometimes. It's either the language barriers, the cultural difference, or well, maybe we just aren't meant to live side by side.

So, I've recently lost my endurance to live in this far-away-from-home land where:

the kids look super cute in their distinct Asian look and the school uniform that makes me drool. But the cuteness doesn't last long. Once they grow a bit older, they would turn into geeks who get no life other than stacks of comics and video games. Then they grow a little bit more. Turning into youngsters who get pimped-up with their self-proclaimed-cool outfits which I don't get how could they think its cool, most of the time.

The young ladies would find it's hard to see clearly behind their mascara because it's just too thick and some of them are proud to not knowing where Australia really is because they think it's cute. (Well, they may not realize the rest of the world simply calls it DUMB)

Then they would turn to big-headed adults who can't even order properly at McDonalds, complain at their own stupid mistakes, and give an 'urgh foreigners' look when those foreigners try to speak Japanese while 90% of those Japanese can't even pronounce a single proper sentence in English. Unfair? Yes.

Then finally, by the (almost) end of their cycle of life, the would turn into grannies who wait faithfully at home for their husbands who spend pennies they've earned on pachinko slots or nights on karaoke places accompanied by bottles of sake and young pretty girls to talk, touch, and God knows what happens.

Geez.......take me out.

p.s please be wise enough not to take any offense, it's mere opinion.

tribute to Mike Leu

it's been a while since i have you on my portfolio
the liquid source of happiness i always run to
the desirable security i won't throw
and the perfect substitute of my sorrow

you bail me out when i fall
we merge, we consolidate
strive to stand still while others fluctuate
cause we know we can get through it all

it's a four-years bond we're holding
we're taking risks, investing wishes
don't ruin it, let's wait to maturity
we never know the yield waiting
and though it won't last to eternity
i'm sure enough it's gonna worth the bruises

** this is the result of studying hundreds of pages on my Financial Market and Institutions textbook. Cheers for the upcoming final! ;)

the FALL

the best season to dress up

still drool over complex geometries.

result of one oita kotsu ride

I promised to post something smart but instead, Im posting these random lines that keep on floating on my head. here they go..

This is a story

of a phase when I was so weary

randomness was at its most,

i somehow felt lost

i wanted a guy, i was in a hurry

so i decided to step across

* i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for a dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

there he was popping on my block

doesnt drink doesnt smoke

he looked so fine, he's one of a kind

stared at me through his camera lens

he did send shivers to my sense

but he believes in his God and I believe in mine

so...

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for another dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

and there i met another guy

looked to my side, started his first line

i couldnt help blushing when he stared into my eye

he got straight As and a golden heart

three years went to waste, it was real hard

because he believes in his God and i believe in mine

so...

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for another dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

then there was another one

smokes, drinks, parties, and gets high

we were happy though i know we're wry

tried to make things work but we're finally done

she was a girl and so am i

STILL, she believes in her God and i believe in mine

so..

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for another dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

i was about to burst and cry

guess it just wasnt my time

and well rushing to a guy sounds like a crime

i'd rather be here and stay a while til I...

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for THE RIGHT dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

p.s this is a fiction. all similarities are mere coincidences.

pennyless

I wanna go on an exchange to Kyoto with my photography club.

I wanna go on a small trip to Nagasaki for quarter break with my housemates.

I wanna go to Paya's birthday this weekend.

I want those less-than-$50 stuffs on Ebay.

I have to pay my tuition fee.

But I am pennyless.

I literally have 0 yen now and I have bills awaiting.

I really have no idea how to pay them and it hurts to see how my friends are spending hundreds of bucks on a bag, jeans, or a pair of shoes.

If only they know that those stuffs can pay my tuition fee...

but well everyone has their own blessings anyway, I guess it just takes a little longer for mine to come

to be smart.

The more I see, the shallower my blog seems like.

Guess I should stop this trash and post something smarter instead.

Oh well, how about some essays and applications I submitted? Haha

too good it's not good

NEXT WINTER, BABY

i miss you.

see you soon :)

jaws dropped

indeed. when i checked this video.

KUDOS!!!

people moving all the time inside a perfect straight line

don't you wanna curve away?