eat sleep repeat

you (distance) me

2011-10-30T10:37:00.000-07:00

you catch my eyes with your smiles
you fill me with a million butterflies
your presence makes my day
when you're around there's no more grey

whenever you play a song
you make me wanna sing along
oh why do we wait for so long
cause in my arms is where you belong

gotta cross the miles for a kiss
but why should we be apart
i'll always keep you close to my heart
look around, there's no love like this

even when i'm gone, you'll never be alone
i'll be with you through the phone
and you know it won't be long
til the next time you have me all day long

summer

2011-10-30T10:26:00.000-07:00

It wasn't love at first sight
Oh you didn't really catch my eye
but your lame jokes turned my gloomy days bright
and now not seeing you makes me cry

I love the way my heart races faster with your kiss
and your hugs are surely to-be-missed
you have the cutest way of calling my name
if I have wrinkles from smiling, yes it's you to blame

I can bite you like an oreo
Hug you like super mario
You're kissable like a teddy bear
even your snore is nice to hear
That's what i'll miss about you
and i know you'll miss me too ;p

I'd give anything to turn back time
walking hand in hands, laughing like fools
rolling in bed, forgetting schools
but what can i do, i gotta say 'see you next time'
I promise, wait a little and I'll pop up on your doorstep
or maybe..right on your lap :D

the (good) bye

2011-06-01T08:53:00.001-07:00

you were the long awaited

you had it all, swept me off my feet

overjoyed, my heart skipped a beat

a fine picture of us, perfectly painted

they said we're good together

I once thought we're meant for each other

but then we had too much to conquer

the going was one rough roller coaster

there's more than meets the eyes

differences, the coming distances

got us questioning if it's gonna worth the bruises

so that's where we waved good bye

fate leads,

time tells,

there must be something good from this bye

2010 ; the end

2010-12-30T07:19:00.000-08:00

been ages, Blogspot!

and 2010 has come to its end. Damn, what have I achieved???

Well if I have to wrap 2010 in one word it would be BEYOND.

Why so?

Simply because everything that has happened to me through out this year is indeed beyond my thought and comprehension. God has shown his works in my life for sure.

I Started the year with a very risky decision.

Yes, I spent the only money I had in my bank account to go on a Fukuoka trip. I shopped, I ate good food, I had a good time, while my tuition remained unpaid.

Crazy? Desperate more likely.

I tried my best to save up but I just didnt earn enough money so a glimpse of thought slipped to my mind 'maybe God wants me to come back to Indonesia'.

But, I got the scholarship! Right on time to pay my tuition as I wrote on my previous post.

So long story short, my 2010 started with a beyond belief miracle that teared me out.

Then I failed to go to London but I got the internship in Panasonic Indonesia instead.

Back in February, I couldnt figure out why it seemed like God wants me to go back to Indonesia.

But just as my 7th semester started and my batch mates started to get drowned in their job hunting activities, I got a job offer from Panasonic Indonesia.

AS SIMPLE AS THAT. No need for interview, no need for cv submission. I just need to submit my graduation certificate and I can work there.

Once again God has eventually revealed what was behind His plan.

The next thing that happened out of my plan; I got a boyfriend.

I was already over those i-wanna-look-for-a-boyfriend-phase and I was determined to focus more on my uni activities which led me to this event called Heart for Haiti, where we met.

Long story short, I'm dating this very nice guy.

A Christian.

A drummer.

A singer.

A guitarist.

A bassist.

A chef.

A comedian.

A family man.

A smart ass.

A loving person

A boyfriend of mine :)

It's funny how this huge thing happened when I expected it the least.

Thank God.

Then the miracles go on.

I applied for Kumon Camp which offered me an opportunity to earn approx. $ 1,800 in 3 weeks but I failed. boo.

Then I applied for another program in Okinawa which also paid well but I failed, again.

Instead, God led me to this voluntary English Mission Camp in Korea.

It got me questioning why voluntary while He knows I need the money?

But as I participated in the program, I realized how much I learned and experienced in one month time.

And right this very moment, I am applying for a scholarship which requires certificates of my extra curricular activities and this program has been one of the highlights of my CV along with the required certificate.

Lesson learned: Seek first the Kingdom of God and everything will be added upon you.

Another thing that opened my eyes to see how God has indeed planned everything for me from the very beginning.

I've been participated in exchange programs with high school students all over Japan where I teach English and introduce my culture for the past two years. Out of a very casual conversation with the director, he suddenly offered me a job to work with an HR consultant in Tokyo.

I was amazed. Not that I got the job already, but still... while other people have to race neck and neck to get a job, I got two offers before even looking for the job.

Even though I still don't know for sure about what I would do after my graduation, I still thank God for the opportunities and hope.

And through 2010, I have realized that as long as we commit everything we do in God's hand, He will show us the way.

And even though it didnt seem to be the one we want at first, but in the end He alone will open our eyes that those things happen for a bigger reason. The best possible for us.

I simply learned how big HE is compared to my thoughts.

"..too wonderful for comprehension, like nothing ever seen or heard..

who can grasp Your infinite wisdom

who can fathom the depth of Your love

You are beautiful beyond description,

majesty and throned above"

Let's start 2011 with these amazing verses:

Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you..plans to proser you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

and Jeremiah 32: 27

Iam the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?

So, HAPPY NEW YEAR everyone!

Have a blessed one! :)

twenty four

2010-09-11T03:12:00.000-07:00

It's been an hour and half since I stepped out of Hong Kong International airport on my flight transit from Fukuoka to Kuala Lumpur so I had 24 hours to explore the country.

It was pretty nerve wrecking at first since I didnt speak the local language and the only clue I had was to meet my native Hong Kong friend in Tsim Sha Tsui later that day. So i asked around until I finally got my bus ticket.

I waited on the line along with the familiar faces speaking the language I know by heart. Yes, a bunch of Indonesian workers who just landed to try their luck in Hong Kong as domestic helpers.

After a while my double decker bus came so I hopped in with full excitement. I chose to sit on the most front sit on the upper part of the bus so that I would be able to see the whole scenery clearly.

The view was great. Neatly done bridges, ships sailing in and out the waterway, traffic signs written in Chinese characters, constructions in progress, and the bright blue sky which made the view even more mesmerizing.

Then after around 30 minutes driving, the bus started to enter the main part of the city. The view became more amusing. Hustle bustle of the city, people from different ethnic groups strolling around the street brushing shoulders one to another, not-so-clean flats, alleys fully packed with stores and pedestrians, and the colorful banners that added the magical effect on the district.

I managed to get off at Tsim Sha Tsui which turned out to be located in Kowloon island and still had 4.5 hours until I met my friend who was still at work so I decided to take a walk around the neighborhood.

The stores were awesome. They sell many different kind of stuffs, from typical Hong Kong merchandises, knock-off of high end branded bags, to chinese traditional medicine. There was also a wide range of clothing brand as well as rows of restaurants from chinese food to mongolian buffet which was utterly mouth watering.

After getting too exhausted, I sat for a bit at the nearby city park waiting for my friend. Once we met, he took my to a local chinese restaurant which served awesome food. After the late dinner, we went to the famous Hong Kong Port. It was really beautiful to see the city lights from the building on the main island of Hong Kong.

We could actually take ferry to cross the bay and get to the main island of Hong Kong but since I had no time so we just spent a bit of our time there. And my camera was kinda crappy so I couldnt take proper picture of the amazing view.

It was pretty late when we finally walked to the bus stop. I had to catch the last bus to go back to the airport where I would be sleeping and wait for my connecting flight the next morning.

It was a short yet amazing visit to Hong Kong and I do wish for another chance to come back any time soon.

(.)

2010-03-23T09:08:00.000-07:00

ini euphoria hampa
sisa-sisa rasa
tak beralas
tak berbalas

hati ambil bagian
asa racuni pikiran
rajut, rajut impian
tinggalkan heran

stimulan rindu
seberkas sendu
obsesi semu

kamu

heart calls

2010-03-23T09:07:00.000-07:00

There you were through a glance
In awe I lost balance
Dancing fingers on those strings
Oh What a shiver u bring

Through the melodic harmony
You turn all the agony,
To an ecstatic rhapsody
You indeed are the remedy

Star, star, my heart calls
Catch, catch, i fall

God is Good

2010-02-08T10:58:00.001-08:00

I've intended to post this 'testimony' from 2 weeks ago but been postponing due to the exam week.

So.. I've figured out what God has planned me.

1. I didn't get enough sponsorship for the One Young World Conference in London

but He provides me with an internship opportunity in Panasonic Indonesia instead.

2. I GOT THE DAIKIN SCHOLARSHIP.

I cried indeed when the result came up. It was a pure miracle since I know how I screwed the interview and all I could say was just Thank you Lord for loving me this much.

The result came up 2 weeks before my tuition payment deadline. I had 0 Yen in my bank account, I hadn't asked any money from my parents, I was just praying and there are 2 verses that always keep me struggling no matter how many people say it's hard, or it's impossible since I know 'I can do all things through Him who strengthens me' because 'the One who lives in me is greater than the one who lives in this world'.

Now I've seen another miracle in my life that has proven God's help is never late and never limit His power for you'll see how everything is indeed possible when you're with Him.

3. I didn't get the Kyushu Oil scholarship

But He gave me a peace of mind. I wasn't disappointed not even moan about it. I know if I don't get it, He has another plan, bigger and better for me.

So here I am, staying up all night waiting for the early morning bus that will take me to the airport and off I go, back to Indonesia, will be home altogether with the whole family.

God is good, aint He? :)

TIME

2010-01-08T06:14:00.000-08:00

Just got back from my friday fellowship, which I regularly attend every friday, such an oasis where I can be with the group of youth, praising, worshipping, sharing thoughts, and growing in faith together. I've learned a lot from this awesome family and so have I today.

The theme for today's message was CELEBRATION IN TIME. It emphasizes on how God has planned everything for us and makes them happen in His own time. Yes, His very own time which is beyond my limited intelligence and understanding of what's good and what's not.

I have personally experienced how God has not let me get what I wanted and how hard it was to face failures yet later on my eyes were also opened to see how God has replaced it with something bigger and better which I never thought of before. By rooting to this principle of He makes everything beautiful in His time, I've never been let down by failures because I know they all happen for reasons, for the better.

The first 3 months of this semester, I had been complaining that I barely got my turn in McDonalds, where I've been working for the past months, because new people are coming so they need to divide the available time equally, which means, less turn for me to work and automatically, less monthly income. I worried a lot, and I did cry wondering how I would be able to save up and pay my tuition fee.

Before the christmas break, I also struggled to find another part time job yet I found none.

In my lowest point, I was reminded of how I had been dragged away from God. I started to listen to online sermons and God did speak to me through those messages. I realized how I had changed. I forgot that whatever happens in my life, is a part of God's plan. I had been busy moaning about the little hole and forgot to sit back, relax, and enjoy the whole picture.

I went back to Him and found how He opened the ways for me to earn money. I applied for two scholarships and passed both of the 1st screenings. I couldn't find part time job to do during the Christmas break because God wanted me to enjoy the break and let me go for a little getaway to another city, well He even provided enough money for me to shop and live a proper living up to this very moment even though I have less part time job schedule. And I have more time to study during the weekend.

Now that I look back, I see how what I thought were failures unexpectedly turned out to be blessings I couldn't recognize back then. So I am thankful that He has brought me back to Him and here I am, healthy, prosper, and with many hopes I've pinned on Him looking to be made come true, or to be replaced with something better.

Yes, I am crossing finger for the sponsorship result that will decide whether I'll go to London or not this February, and 2 scholarships result that will provide me enough money to pay my tuition fee, monthly living cost for the whole year, even my trip back home ;)

A lot to hope indeed yet I know, I put those hopes on the right hands.

"..Then You know that I am the Lord; those who hope in ME will not be dissapointed.."

Isaiah 49:23

2010

2010-01-03T08:09:00.000-08:00

ive decided to write down my resolutions and dreams. so by the end of the year I can see what I've done, and how my dreams come true, or are replaced by some other plans God has prepared for the better.

Here goes the list.

Resolution:

- no sleeping in class

- no more job cancellation, skipping church and fellowship for unnecessary excuses

- read the subject materials before class

- fast every Monday and Thursday

- FINISH THE BIBLE!

- browse for internship

- no more bible reading on the bus. it must be AT HOME before school

- night devotion is compulsory

- less complaining

- go back to taiko practices

- learn Spanish and French

- more social work

Wishes:

- daikin, kyushu oil, and honor scholarship *huge AMEN for these*

- academic merit awards (which also means 4 GPA)

- indonesia in February, Europe in summer break

- internship at British Council London

- perfect health for my family and the best university for my sister

- one piece from each of these: complex geometries, chloe sevigny for opening ceremony, junya watanaba for garcons, alexander wang, and well I basically wont resist anything from Oaknyc and reform :)

神様今年もお願いいたします。。

another kind of looking back

2009-12-30T08:52:00.001-08:00

It's the last day in 2009 and I am beyond thankful that I am still here in a super good condition, physically and mentally. Physically, yes, because I have no health issues, and mentally because I just finished packing for my new year trip 6 hours from now.

And in addition to those essential reasons, I look back and find stacks of blessing my heavenly Father has showered me through out the year. Here goes the major list:

JANUARY

- got my temporary job

- tuition fee: paid

- passed all the subjects I took

FEBRUARY

- Jason Mraz concert

- Osaka - Kyoto trip

- Taiko practices to save me from endless boredom in Beppu

- good parties

- new job at McDonald

MARCH

- unplanned trip to Malaysia

- great reunion with Denise and abundant good times

- new cameras to accompany my previous family of fisheye, holga, and diana

- succeeded the performance in Entrance Ceremony

APRIL

- another good time performing at PicaPica

- Honor scholarship

- endless BBQ parties

- hanami and new batch of mates

MAY

- good health and mental condition through out the chaotic preparation for Indonesian week

JUNE

- good friend who was there 24/7 to cheer me up during the breakdowns and sleepless nights

- super fun fellowship camp

JULY

- SUCCESS OF INDONESIAN WEEK 2009!!

- birthday blast

AUGUST

- nagano trip and Global Education Program Camp

- IN DO NE SI A !! indescribable bliss with the family and friends back home

SEPTEMBER

- BALI!!

- brightspot

- safe trip back to Japan

OCTOBER

- New spirit for the new semester

- good subjects to fight

- another camp with high school students

- halloween blast

NOVEMBER

- right on time 'faith reminder'

- peace of mind and new hopes (sounds cliche but i seriously mean it)

DECEMBER

- passed the 1st screenings for Daikin and Kyushu Oil scholarship

- fun online shopping haha

- fukuoka trip to close the year

and of course, endless support and love from people around me.

Thanks, Lord, for keeping me safe in your embrace..

2009 has been a blast and I believe, 2010 has more in store awaiting.

Happy early new year everyone!

screwed it up? not likely

2009-12-16T03:01:00.000-08:00

I just had an interview, the second screening for a $2000 scholarship from Daikin company. Does the company ring a bell in your head? Well, it's a pretty famous air conditioner manufacturer.

So how did it go?

I can say it was a mess. The interview was in Japanese and it was a group interview. Dang! Two things I expect the least for an interview.

They didnt ask that many questions, I didnt even feel like I've said something qualified to be judged for a scholarship interview while one of my 'competitors' in the group spoke fluent English and got the highest GPA in my batch.

So, technically, I screwed it up. But I dont give up, since everything has happened, the only thing I can do now are pray and fast because didnt the Bible mention that God always answers prayers of the righteous? :)

Well, miracles do happen dont they?

But despite of all the mess, I had so much fun writing application for the 1st screening. They asked us to make a story about credibility where Pichon-kun, the company mascot is the main character in it. *yep, for the first time I can use my imagination to pass a scholarship screening.Woot!*

So, here goes the story I wrote..

At the beginning, when human had not existed, the earth consisted of only 4 big islands; fire, ice, water, and rock island. Water Island, inhabited by drops of water, was the most prosper, peaceful, and the strongest among all. It is all because of the leader, King Pichon.
King Pichon had reigned for more than 2000 years and during his service, he had won most of the wars with brilliant strategies, he designed all infrastructures in the island, he solved every crime cases with wise solutions, and he successfully made no one live in poverty with his thoughtful income and resource distribution. All water drops in the island loved their king and kept electing him for 5 consecutive periods.
Not only to his island, King Pichon was also well known for its huge help when Rock Island was direly destroyed by earthquake. He moved all water drops to save and help rehabilitating the Rock Island. Because of King Pichon's initiative, the Rock Island could quickly recover from the disaster and continued its existence.
One day, the Ice Island sent its warriors and attacked Water Island. King Pichon was badly injured and the water island was cursed to be frozen for 500 years. The water drops were really sad because their strong leader lay powerless on the hospital bed. A new leader was elected to replace Pichon while he struggled to recover. During that time, all water drop visited King Pichon everyday with food, medicine, and other things to make him feel better. Finally, after 500 years, King Pichon was freed from the curse and gained his strength.
All water drops in the island were very happy and made celebration parties. They asked King Pichon to reign back as their leader. King Pichon refused because he felt guilty of the loss in the previous war but the water drops convinced him that he has the power, wisdom, and quality to be their leader. King Pichon finally accepted their request and reigned back.
However, when they were celebrating King Pichon's recovery, the fire attacked the water island. But this time, King Pichon defended the island by conducting the water drops to form huge tidal waves, but the flames from Fire Island were really strong and the water drops started to lose their power.
When they were about to give up, the rocks unexpectedly came in rescue. They formed very thick stone walls all over the island that could not be penetrated nor burned by the flames while King Pichon took the lead of water drops to keep attacking the flames with immense waves. After a long struggle, the water island under King Pichon's command and the help of rock island won the war. The water drops were really thankful to the rocks but it surprisingly turned out that those rocks came to rescue because they remembered the massive help and support from King Pichon and the water drops while they were in trouble.
After the war, the water and rock island built a good mutual relationship and water drops lived peacefully under the lead of King Pichon with his power and wisdom.

King Pichon is an illustration of a company with social credibility. When a company has gained credibility from its customers through its quality, good record, and social contributions as the example of King Pichon who was trusted by his nation, even when the company faces a hard time, the customers would not easily move to its competitors. Even more, the costumers would still trust the company regarding its credibility and when the company gained its power back, the customers would stick to the brand, and be the main power of a company to strive in the tight competition.

With such good records, proven quality, in balance with the social contribution, Daikin Industries,Ltd. has what it takes to gain its credibility and thus can retain its customers from time to time.

*random, I know, but I hope you enjoy it as much as I did when I wrote it* :p

pardon my nerves

2009-12-08T08:52:00.001-08:00

I've always proclaimed myself as a plurality appreciator with above-average tolerance yet however, having a close interaction with Japanese people in my daily live does get me on my nerve sometimes. It's either the language barriers, the cultural difference, or well, maybe we just aren't meant to live side by side.

So, I've recently lost my endurance to live in this far-away-from-home land where:

the kids look super cute in their distinct Asian look and the school uniform that makes me drool. But the cuteness doesn't last long. Once they grow a bit older, they would turn into geeks who get no life other than stacks of comics and video games. Then they grow a little bit more. Turning into youngsters who get pimped-up with their self-proclaimed-cool outfits which I don't get how could they think its cool, most of the time.

The young ladies would find it's hard to see clearly behind their mascara because it's just too thick and some of them are proud to not knowing where Australia really is because they think it's cute. (Well, they may not realize the rest of the world simply calls it DUMB)

Then they would turn to big-headed adults who can't even order properly at McDonalds, complain at their own stupid mistakes, and give an 'urgh foreigners' look when those foreigners try to speak Japanese while 90% of those Japanese can't even pronounce a single proper sentence in English. Unfair? Yes.

Then finally, by the (almost) end of their cycle of life, the would turn into grannies who wait faithfully at home for their husbands who spend pennies they've earned on pachinko slots or nights on karaoke places accompanied by bottles of sake and young pretty girls to talk, touch, and God knows what happens.

Geez.......take me out.

p.s please be wise enough not to take any offense, it's mere opinion.

tribute to Mike Leu

2009-11-14T05:49:00.000-08:00

it's been a while since i have you on my portfolio
the liquid source of happiness i always run to
the desirable security i won't throw
and the perfect substitute of my sorrow

you bail me out when i fall
we merge, we consolidate
strive to stand still while others fluctuate
cause we know we can get through it all

it's a four-years bond we're holding
we're taking risks, investing wishes
don't ruin it, let's wait to maturity
we never know the yield waiting
and though it won't last to eternity
i'm sure enough it's gonna worth the bruises

** this is the result of studying hundreds of pages on my Financial Market and Institutions textbook. Cheers for the upcoming final! ;)

the FALL

2009-11-10T04:17:00.000-08:00

the best season to dress up

still drool over complex geometries.

result of one oita kotsu ride

2009-10-19T07:26:00.000-07:00

I promised to post something smart but instead, Im posting these random lines that keep on floating on my head. here they go..

This is a story

of a phase when I was so weary

randomness was at its most,

i somehow felt lost

i wanted a guy, i was in a hurry

so i decided to step across

* i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for a dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

there he was popping on my block

doesnt drink doesnt smoke

he looked so fine, he's one of a kind

stared at me through his camera lens

he did send shivers to my sense

but he believes in his God and I believe in mine

so...

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for another dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

and there i met another guy

looked to my side, started his first line

i couldnt help blushing when he stared into my eye

he got straight As and a golden heart

three years went to waste, it was real hard

because he believes in his God and i believe in mine

so...

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for another dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

then there was another one

smokes, drinks, parties, and gets high

we were happy though i know we're wry

tried to make things work but we're finally done

she was a girl and so am i

STILL, she believes in her God and i believe in mine

so..

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for another dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

i was about to burst and cry

guess it just wasnt my time

and well rushing to a guy sounds like a crime

i'd rather be here and stay a while til I...

** i took my boots, with pride i stood

around and about, looking for THE RIGHT dude

the one who makes my mood and cooks good food

p.s this is a fiction. all similarities are mere coincidences.

pennyless

2009-10-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

I wanna go on an exchange to Kyoto with my photography club.

I wanna go on a small trip to Nagasaki for quarter break with my housemates.

I wanna go to Paya's birthday this weekend.

I want those less-than-$50 stuffs on Ebay.

I have to pay my tuition fee.

But I am pennyless.

I literally have 0 yen now and I have bills awaiting.

I really have no idea how to pay them and it hurts to see how my friends are spending hundreds of bucks on a bag, jeans, or a pair of shoes.

If only they know that those stuffs can pay my tuition fee...

but well everyone has their own blessings anyway, I guess it just takes a little longer for mine to come

to be smart.

2009-10-13T09:50:00.000-07:00

The more I see, the shallower my blog seems like.

Guess I should stop this trash and post something smarter instead.

Oh well, how about some essays and applications I submitted? Haha

too good it's not good

2009-08-17T11:11:00.000-07:00

NEXT WINTER, BABY

i miss you.

see you soon :)

jaws dropped

2009-07-31T08:28:00.000-07:00

indeed. when i checked this video.

KUDOS!!!

people moving all the time inside a perfect straight line

don't you wanna curve away?

turning legal

2009-07-14T05:21:00.000-07:00

Do no fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

Matthew 10:31

With this nice reminder of how valuable I am in His eyes, and all the best wishes from my dearest people, I turned 20.

Thank God I had a really nice one ;)

fly fly away

2009-05-11T07:29:00.000-07:00

I feel like trotting along Legian,

lounging at Zanzibar,

driving back to Uluwatu,

flying high high,

grabbing good stuffs from the fridge,

dipping into the pool

oh Bali

the F word

2009-05-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

I've just got back from dinner with my 'boyfriends'. Yuri, one of the best boyfriends of mine here just came back after about two months in another island, where he got transferred to Ritsumeikan Kyoto, and it was so nice to have him back. We spent the day with the rest of the 'gang', the same old crowd I hang out with during my first days in Japan. I never realized how I miss these 'quality times' so much...

After class, we went out to pack our tummy with japanese noodle,spend hours listening to them telling their own love stories, spiced up with stupid jokes and idle comments, laughed my ass off and well.. they really made my day.

And yesterday, I spent the whole break time during my part time job talking on the phone with Hanna. We've been pretty busy with our own activities and haven't had the chance to talk a lot after the first week she got back here. It really touched me to know she had been praying for me to get the honor scholarship and for my dad so he can stay in a good health.It might seem simple, but it means a lot for me. Especially she was the one to call me and ask whether I get the scholarship or not because she had been worrying about it

It feels so great to be the with the ones I can trust and feel comfortable with because I know they don't fake their laughter nor tears, they can tease me because we're too close to get offended, they're on my side through my rises and falls, and the most important one, they don't talk shits behind me.

Now I realized that FRIENDS with all the happiness and affection they bring are another blessings I've been taking for granted and I am fully thankful for them.

beyond blessed

2009-04-29T08:01:00.000-07:00

I was facing a severe financial crisis for a month since I stopped getting honor scholarships last march, which means I no longer get $500 wired to my account monthly. It was a huge lost for me indeed.

I am working part time in McDonalds...and even though I have worked my ass off, using every single free time I have to earn money, I could only earn 43,000yen out of 70,000 yen I need to live properly here. I was stressed up, worrying about how to survive the next days and paying the tuition fee without asking my parents's aid seemed to be impossible.

However, I always believe that God sent me here for some reasons, and as He has always guided me and provided my needs , I know he would never abandon me. And every time those financial worries bother my thoughts, God always guides me through my night devotion. He always says the right things to keep me stand still up to this very moment.

A few days ago, my worries stroke back and I started to think about how to get through the upcoming days, how to pay my tuition fee, how to pay this and that, but my night devotion reminded me:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear^.Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^?But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

It hit the right button and I felt so guilty for worrying instead of trusting my heavenly father and keeping my faith through prayers and devotions.

And God never forget to fulfill his word...

He made me succeed the first screenings for honor scholarship and the selection to be the system assistant in my uni..still a long way to go til I officially get those, but well......I am keeping my faith, and I believe God has made a beautiful plan for me, so even if I fail, I believe it happens for reasons, for the better. =)

And as God fulfills His word to answer my prayers..so would He for your prayers as well.

Stop worrying, start trusting the Lord, and everything would be given to you.

and after all, remember, you never walk alone.

(not) z e r o

2009-04-26T13:05:00.000-07:00

it's 5.07 am and here I am, glued in front of my laptop with eyes wide opened. just get done with the stacks of home works for my Japanese class tomorrow, one assessment for the previous presentation we had, one A4 paper long report in Japanese about environmental issues, and one evaluation about Japanese study. Well.. I am pretty much satisfied with it since I guess it's one of those little amount of home works on which I put suffice effort instead of just copying from my friend. Yes, this is my first time making a 'qualified' and 'contented' writing on my own, struggling on goole translate and online dictionary for about an hour to finally get done with it and I feel so fine.

Anyway, my sudden effort wasn't reasonless. I just happened to bump into my friend's facebook account to find out that she just got accepted in UCLA for applied math *well done, Pik! I'm so proud of you!* and it really shot me in the head.

It made me look back and question what have I been doing in the past 3 semesters here? what have I learned? have I really gained something?

and..I came out with the conclusion, aside from my Japanese and life's practical things *explain you later*, I seem to gain Z E R O..sigh

well what can you expect to gain from a lecture from a professor whose English is not even understandable because they're speaking with strong Japanese accent?

what on earth could I have gained for taking bioscience and earth science since I am majoring on international business?

how could I even get strongly rooted to the basic principles of economic if I could just sleep during the lecture for the whole semester and read the whole book one night before just to pass the exam?

DANG!

it was a really really nice reminder for me not to slack this much. well, my uni may not be that good, some of my professors may not speak English clearly, but well it always goes back to me anyway. If I could just stand staying up for the whole lecture, putting my best effort to listen, take notes, and review, I may gain some more.

Whoam. It's gonna be a tough work but well my friend's success would always be hanging invisibly on my forehead, reminding me to put some more effort on my study.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed..

not supposed to be here

2009-04-20T06:28:00.000-07:00

take down your defences, use no common senses

supposed to be working on the script for Indonesian week

and my accounting assignment. darn.

dear baby girl

2009-04-20T06:19:00.001-07:00

hey baby girl
it's another night of our idle talks online
another routine of 'how are you baby, im doing fine'
because with you i cant discuss about stocks, politics, life, and what's ahead
oh girl, you know nothing about these shoes Im bidding on
and would you argue back on which lens I should put on
so ive been filling your inbox with stacks of 'i miss you's and 'i love you's instead
but you're fine with those and I'm not surprised

well you're just a kid
and life aint a fairy tale, baby, that's bullshit
if only you were smarter
things for me might have got harder
but you're just a kid
that's why nothing seems wrong with it

i've been living in a world you dont know, baby
sleeping with another girl on our anniversary
hugging tight while we were texting
sorry baby girl for the late reply, i was busy kissing
but you never doubt me and things become so easy

well you're just a kid
and life aint a fairy tale, baby, that's bullshit
if only you were smarter
things for me might have got harder
but you're just a kid
that's why nothing seems wrong with it

oh baby girl, being with you has made my burden so light
my friends got babes and so do i
but when they have to squeeze their brain to lie
i only need to write you 'i love you baby, i miss you' and everything would be alright

sorry baby girl, i never meant to hurt you. no no.
i just cant help being smart, yea, im not that shallow
and hey, I aint angel with halo

*anyone interested to arrange the melody for those lines?

one way

2009-04-17T10:13:00.000-07:00

there's no other way nor U-turn

the trip

2009-03-29T01:59:00.000-07:00

just got back from one-week-trip to Hong Kong and KL. a lot to write but my eyes refuse to open any longer.

so here I post some of the pics to spill some tiny bits of the whole fun.

welcome to Hong Kong

the hustle and bustle of the city

cant help admiring the colorful neon-banners

one hectic corner around Bukit Bintang

the famous twin

genting. 5am

new beer in town haha

the room I stayed in. the mess I caused. the one I now miss.

the essence of the trip; this dumb face I havent seen for ages.

The one I used to spend every single day of my long break before I came to Japan with, honking outside my door, driving somewhere unplanned with private jokes, super songs and idle talks along the way, sneaking around, and do bunch of other random stuffs. I MISS YOU!!

because I said "one day I'll be knocking on your door"

and there I was =)

hello goodbye

2009-03-29T01:50:00.000-07:00

i miss when you sleep. when you sleep next to me.

i miss when we drive. when we drive in your car.

i miss where we were. THERE.

whisper hello, Ive missed you quite terribly.

counting down

2009-03-17T12:11:00.000-07:00

its 5 hours til i get onto the bus that takes me to the airport and off i go..

finally being away from this too-small town, 4 hours of japanese drum practices everyday, and 6 hours of part time job..

awaayy...flying back to the equator, where speaking and reading would be way easier for me..

I still cant believe this (since I just planned this trip two weeks ago) but I would fly to KL in hours, and one night staying over in HongKong. yaay..

cant wait..cant wait...

"..coz one day i'll be knocking on your door.."

and there I'd be. =)

tadaima

2009-03-01T01:04:00.000-08:00

just got back from 4 days getaway in Osaka and Kyoto.

spending every hours trotting along the massive and crowded roads with beyond cute and super generous hunk to guide me around.

visiting some temples.

taking piles of pics.

getting on and off of subways, monorail, and trains.

pursuing my childhood dream to visit universal studio.

dancing and singing along with JASON MRAZ from the one-meter-away-front row.

staying in a darn sophisticated and cool house hosted by that hunk and the whole warm family.

eating.

those four days were effin brilliant.

God is good. I know =)

lately

2009-02-08T06:35:00.000-08:00

nothing much. bored. what can you expect?

hello, goodbye

2009-02-07T12:35:00.000-08:00

off my housemates go and i'm officially alone in my apt..

just listened to an AJ Rafael's song Nicky always listens to..and I suddenly miss him with his ukulele I always laugh at...=(

how I wish I could go home..

but i ended up here in my room, wishing them a safe trip and a happy holiday.

cant wait to hug them welcome in two months T_T

end of my 3rd semester

2009-02-03T02:52:00.000-08:00

here ends my 3rd semester..

with

unsatisfying score for my Japanese test

abstract questions for business management exam

seems to be impossible scholarships

no job

all housemates going home for two freaking months

if only I could go home

or you could stay a little longer

I may not be crying at this right second

i miss you, already=(

now i know =)

2009-01-23T08:21:00.000-08:00

should be working on my report

2009-01-21T08:22:00.001-08:00

in the middle of these pressures and burdens due to report deadlines and final exams, reading a tender

" you know, you're the sincerest person I've ever met"

from an 'old friend' of mine on msn is truly encouraging and supporting.

thank you,mate =)

gotta continue on my reports...

got it

2009-01-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

need I say more?? =)

thanks to Edo, Ryan, Gilang, and Garri for helping.haha

c r a v i n g

2009-01-15T07:49:00.001-08:00

oh my

these night-routines I'd soon miss

2009-01-12T10:04:00.000-08:00

seven reports

2009-01-12T08:10:00.000-08:00

the effects of having seven reports in less than a month:

- get over-freaked-out

- busy deciding which to do first

- working half way, leave it, work on another one, leave it

- exhausted

- end up whoring over youtube, listening to gospels*trying to get soothed and hoping for sudden inspiring blessings* and here, doodling on my blog.

heck yea.

truly fantastic.

floating and flying like a kite on string..

2009-01-10T12:08:00.001-08:00

over the twilight you're listening to me

and when they say that I'm just a terrible kite

you tell them you're proud of my marvelous flight

the dope works by Julia Fullerton

walk away

2009-01-08T10:09:00.000-08:00

whereisjuan.deviantart.com

i'm gonna remember you

you're gonna remember me

it feels so wrong it feels so right

2009-01-08T09:37:00.001-08:00

but we're still having fun and that's the key

thebattleofone.deviantart.com

2009

2009-01-02T05:47:00.001-08:00

a new year.

new dreams.

new blessings.

a new beginning.

and I'm fully grateful, I had a marvelous one =)

Benjamin Button

2008-12-30T09:37:00.001-08:00

"we are made to let go and lose the people we love because how else would we understand how important they are for us"

I've realized how important you are,

then why do I still have to eventually LET you GO.

darn!

polyvore euphoria

2008-12-17T10:41:00.000-08:00

i just found my new procrastinating machine ...haha

here are some sets I created minutes ago on polyvore

another christmas list by Rara Kinanti

christmas list by Rara Kinanti

1st set by Rara Kinanti

the list

2008-12-03T05:09:00.000-08:00

Santa, here are some of my christmas wishes..

complex geometries's hood tee

angela chen's cropped pants

hydesk's pumpkin bag

jeffrey campbell wingtip grey

jeffrey campbell's saraid shoes

jeffrey campbell's tan leather loafers

nikon d90

nikkor's AF 50mm F/1.8D

or at least an affordable way to own them....

*click on the images to check the further info in case you're touched to get it wrapped for my christmas presents

a birthday wish

2008-12-02T06:18:00.001-08:00

it's 1.5 hours til your birthday and here I am, miles away from you, wishing so hard I was there right at 00.00, knocking on your bedroom door, looking at your priceless surprised face when I bring you a candle-lit cake.

But sometimes dreams will only be dreams.
Pardon my brain, pardon my limitations, but I can only write this note wishing you a super duper blessed birthday, wrapped with sincere prayers, endless good lucks, piles of best wishes.

I may not have a street full of lit-up candles to greet you 'happy birthday'
I may not have any surprise party to wake you up in the middle of the night
I may not have any grand presents for your birthday

I may not even be on your side on your special day
but I'm telling you
my outstretched hands are always ready to embrace you and help you out

my smiling eyes always look after you
my heart still cares
and I'm still here, the same friend you had back then,

only a call away, yes you can always find me on the other side of the phone

Happy birthday, DENISE

Ti Amo,

no, don't

2008-11-28T05:12:00.000-08:00

what if I say don't go

japanese and their engRish part 2

2008-11-27T05:35:00.000-08:00

well I just got home, after closing the camp with overflowing foods, unexpectedly 'okay' presentations from the kids, and waved goodbyes.

Regardless their limited engRish, this camp has been a really great experience I treasure.

I'm proud to see them trying their best to make the presentations, I was touched to see the sign-board they gave me, and, most importantly,

instead of teaching them *which I think doesnt have that much influence since it's only for two days and we speak Japanese in 90% of the conversations*, I learn how nice it feels to share my thoughts to others, and how priceless to know I can inspire other people, be someone they can look up to and hearing them saying 'I like your presentation and I wanna try harder for my future'.

I am touched indeed.

So, I have taken another step forward on this leading-to-my-future path.

Yes, being an inspiration, passing the blessing I've got, and be SOMEBODY in someone's live have always been one of my dreams - and this camp has given me the chance to put a small piece in this yet incomplete puzzle of my future.

From now on, I gotta continue finding the other scattered pieces. I know it's a tough work but knowing that I have a beyond-wonderful heavenly Father, I believe I can. And so can you.

じゃあ、これから夢に向かって頑張ろううう！！

p.s. photos will be uploaded soon

japanese and their engRish

2008-11-26T08:32:00.000-08:00

I'm currently working as one of the leaders of an English camp in my uni for two days where we have to help 250 japanese high school students exploring their dream and thinking how to reach their goals in the future. (I'm currently listed as a 2nd year student in Ritsumeikan Asia Pacific University in Japan)

It has been really great because I get along well the other leaders, the project itself is fun, I make new friends, I learn a lot from the kids, I can practice my japanese ability, and last but not least, I get paid*wink*

BUT the thing is, I kinda had such a high expectations on their english because the program director said it's an english camp and it turned out to be all wrong.

First, at the beginning of the program, we tried to do the ice-breaking games, and the first trouble appeared. I explained the instructions and no one moved. I was stunned. Yes, they dont understand my simple explanation * i just ask them to make a circle,ask about their group mates' hobby, and we will 'test' them afterward*

After that, we had to take them on campus tour. It went pretty much ok because we dont need that much explanation and I also had to make a presentation about how I view my future but since I had my translator with me, it was alright. *my japanese is not good enough to make a presentation. sad*

Then, the last session of the day is preparation for tomorrow's presentation. So we had to help them making presentation about how to make their dreams come true in the globalized society. IT WAS REALLY REALLY HARD,trust me.

Because, they DONT understand the english explanation and I don't understand some of their Japanese explanation either, so we have to use our limited language skills to explain as good as possible. After a hard struggle of using gestures, writing kanjis, finding the easier words to explain, they finally understood what to do, but then it took FOREVER for them to make their own future plan.

Well, I believe doing such thing for senior high school students in Indonesia won't be hard at all. And anyway, they're from Tokyo, people.. yes, TOKYO, the capital city of this so called uber developed country. How come their english is even worse than those students in some small cities in the under-developed Indonesia????

Besides, after spending the whole day with them, I learned how narrow their views are about the world. They don't know what's going on in this world, starting from the closest part of their lives, music for example. They only know Japanese music.

They don't know who on earth is Condoleezza Rice.

And other facts that really wow-ed me. It really makes me wonder how could Japan be a leading county if their young generation don't speak English and live their under-the-rock-life.

Being a part of this camp has really opened my eyes that there REALLY are certain points at which Indonesians are even better than the Japanese. Then if we have such skills than it's surely possible for us to reach higher than the Japanese do.

The world does need English. And we've already possessed one of the world's needs. So let's add some other skills up and I believe, starting from the small scale, we can pile up the efforts to make Indonesia a better country. =)

factagged

2008-11-18T09:17:00.000-08:00

I got tagged..and since I (pretend to) have nothing to do..yes I'm writing them down now

fact #1
it's 2.19am with final exam and report waiting in the next two days, but instead of getting tired after extracting my brain,I feel truly refreshed because i just got back from KARAOKE...yes.karaoke instead of studying will bring you luck for the exams.*amen*

fact #2
I'm missing last week times. (read: hijacking my neighbor's room, glueing our eyes on youtube, cuddling around to bed, get up late with nothing much to do, slack off) argh, screw exams week!

fact #3
i seriously can NOT stand temptation whatever the form is..food, whoring over the internet instead of studying, and some stuffs

fact #4
I keep telling my self to stop everyday, know i should stay away, yet deep down inside I'm still gripping tightly on it

fact #5
It's 2 degrees here today. It's still mid november and the weather forecast said it's gonna snow tomorrow. It's freakin weird since it started to snow around the last days of december last year

fact #6
I haven't been in the shower for err..2 days? and my hair smells like ciggs. shoot

fact #7
I am craving for nikon D90, oxford flat shoes, and hydesk's pumpkin bag (STILL)

fact #8
I'm supposed to be in the shower, get ready to sleep because it's 2.32am and I'm planning to go for a so-called-relieving-trip at 9am tomorrow and it's gonna be for the whole day. Guess I better start piling up enough energy from now

fact #9
I'm thinking of what should I type here

fact #10
I miss you, neighbor

DONE

and these are the people I tagged
1. Denise
2. Sarra
3. Clay
4. Sam
5. Gilang

HOMEWORK'S RULES:
1. Each blogger must post this rules.
2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themseves.
3. Blogger that are tagged need to write about their own blog about their ten things and post. these rules . You need to choose some people to get tagged and list their names .
4. Don't forget to live them a comment telling them they've been tagged and to read your blog.

tilt shift photography

2008-11-12T09:26:00.000-08:00

does it ring a bell?

if it doesn't, check these pictures out, maybe you'll find out what's it all about

as a result of a pile of those asstivities of mine in the past few days, me and my friend found some nice photography websites and those miniature look alike photographs are the result of tilt-shift photography, one of the dope works of Vincent Laforet's that have successfully made me drooling.

Enjoy!

friends

2008-11-12T09:20:00.000-08:00

Was it love, or just something that reminded me of

Something that felt a lot like, but wasn't, love
Just friends, friends then, until the end
You know I still pretend, just friends

Was it love, I think it was but I'm far from sure
I'd never felt that way before, was it love?
Just friends, am I a fool to be asking for,
a fool to wish that we could be more than friends

my math teacher called it PROBABILITY

2008-11-07T07:42:00.000-08:00

those eyes that stare would probably be the same eyes that tear out

this heart that loves would probably be the same heart that struggle to endure the pain

these blessings I am thankful for would probably the same blessings I try not to recall

these hands that tangled would probably be the same hands that let go

those arms that embrace would probably the same arms that wave good bye

these lips that kiss would probably be the same lips that whisper you the prayer, best wishes, and thank yous for the past times

but those thoughts would also probably be the thoughts I look back on, while telling you 'I was a fool back then for having such silly thoughts for we are now still together'

I am keeping my fingers crossed, wishing the right things on the right time

amen

I do

2008-11-05T18:34:00.000-08:00

everyone's looking round, thinking I'm going crazy

trying hard not to hear but they talk so loud
their piercing sounds fill my ears..
try to fill me with doubt,
yet I know that the goal is to keep me from falling

but nothing's greater than the risk that comes with your embrace

they try to pull me away but I keep.......................

photograph by http://hardmerolgirl.deviantart.com

stealing kisses. taking wishes

2008-11-01T23:16:00.000-07:00

hi, my holga baby back home how's my sister treating you?

anyway. my fisheye camera is kinda broken now and I still haven't saved enough money to get the polaroid film. Darn!

wow

2008-10-31T22:35:00.000-07:00

yes that's the word when I logged in to facebook this morning. I got a friend request and seriously stunned when I see the 'nightlife-photographer of the year'awarded Nikola Tamindzic added me as his friend. And now I'm regretting that I didn't take any screen shot of that page. I know it's corny but I am just so WOWed with this.

well I know him through a friend and have always been mesmerized by his amazing works.Well I even have put his link on this blog if you notice since the first time I had it.

So, Nicola Tamindzic is the man behind the famous h ome of the vain and ambrel. Yes, two of other photography websites I've always been whoring over.

Here are some of his beyond-amazing works

don't you love them?

日本語で初めて書いている

2008-10-31T12:34:00.000-07:00

今もう遅いのに、何をするのがわからないので、荒馬のうちやげの写真をアドブでエデイットして、アップしているよ。

じゃあ、このポストで、私のブログは二言語でもう書いたよね。未だ簡単な日本語で書いてあるけど、今からよく練習して、もっともっと上手に書けるようになってこれると思うだろう。

still..

2008-10-26T10:46:00.000-07:00

yes,it's 2.47am yet i'm still whoring over Gabe Bondoc's songs rather than memorizing kanji for today's quiz.

well i found this really nice self-written song that inspired me to instantly click on the photoshop icon and work on one pic of mine

Suitcases and travel bags

I can't sit and watch you pack

Just leave a couple of things for me

Oh, leave me your sweet perfume

Spray it around the room

And I'll pray that you'll come home soon

well..i'm totally drooling over..=)

c'est la vie

2008-10-26T04:40:00.000-07:00

when something is too good to be true, then it's not true

trust me

FLY

2008-10-25T12:15:00.000-07:00

"when you feel you need a get away,you can just fly away"

i miss my holga back home.sigh.

US, back then

2008-10-25T11:02:00.000-07:00

I just set my itunes on shuffle mode and this song suddenly popped up.

I reminisced this one day when I was getting ready to school and found someone asking my approval to send this song.

I asked why and what's with this song?

"It's us, back then", he typed.

I listened to it and well...i guess he was true

Pills- The Perishers

I hope my smile can distract you

I hope my fists can fight for two

So it never has to show and you’ll never know

I hope my love can blind you

I hope my arms can bind you

So you’ll never have to see what we’ve grown to be

One may think we’re alright

But we need pills to sleep at night

We need lies to make it through the day

We’re not ok

One may think we’re doing fine

But if I had to lay it on the line

We’re losing ground with every passing day

We’re not ok

But that’s one thing I would never say to you

well we're now doing beyond OK.

thank you <33

love (it) like this

2008-10-25T09:49:00.000-07:00

The new semester has started for a month and it has been awesome indeed.

i've moved from my previous dorm to my new sea-side apt downtown with special people living 6 floors below.

this far, i've been spending my days staying late by whoring over the internet *thank you, neighbor for the influence that now I'm spending hours over rakuten and yahoo auction idly haha*- talking and cuddling to bed- waking up late- another morning greetings=p - wake up knock by our other neighbor on my door - rushing to get ready and catch the bus- classes - another bus ride - wandering in town - find somewhere for dinner - and keep the same routine

Bored? Sure not.

Here I go, counting my blessings

How many of you go back from school, finding your guy is craving for some flowers to decorate his balcony, and get picked up on his back all the way to the florist because he knows your high heeled shoes are killing you?I know its cheesy. But well it's a good reason to laugh your bums off anyway.

How many of you can wake up in the morning knowing the one you care the most is beside you, snoring peacefully in your arms?

How many of you can open the window and hear the sea-wind breezing?

How many of you can spend the whole day slacking off without having to do any school works?

You see how my life here has been blessed tremendously.

I bet not so many people have the chance to do the same routine as I do and I thank my heavenly Daddy sincerely for these wonderful privileges.

And thank you to the one that has been the subject of those written words above=)

couldnt ask for more=)

2008-10-17T01:25:00.000-07:00

its been a great great week indeed.

thanks to the one Ive been spending most of my time with all these days(;

my family and school stuffs have been great

i got home from my parttime job, had a warm welcome home hug, and a surprisingly awaited dinner

i had my health checkup which turned out to be alright

we watched movie and cuddled around to bed

we walked hands in hands, wandered around the town, 'rejoicing our tummies' with super good foods

we stole kisses around

i got my sallary

i started joining the japanese drum club in my uni and it was sooo much fun

i woke up with a bright sun shine, a light kiss, and a sweet ' morning babe, I've got your spongebob movies downloaded, wanna watch?'

i'm here knowing someone does care<33

1st day.3rd semester

2008-10-02T06:32:00.000-07:00

LIFE IS HARD

P R A Y

DO GOOD

KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED

words from a friend

2008-09-30T03:08:00.000-07:00

a true friend never walks away

a true friend will always stay

a true friend looks out for you

a true friend will guard your secret, like a precious gift

a true friend is always there for you, to give you a helpful lift

a true friend tries to make you smile, tries to replace that frown

they may not always succeed, but they rarely let you down

these arms for you are open

this heart for you does care

and when i think you need me, i'll try to always be there

i'll listen to your fear, i promise not to laugh

i'll comfort you from falling tears

i'll make this friendship last

i'll keep you near to my heart

i'll always hold you even when we're miles apart

I hope I am to you, everything you are to me

for the friendship we have, is a special one indeed.

-denise-

yes, you guys are everything

special dedications for Ndutty, Denise, Hanna, Sarra, Shane

i always have reasons to hate the RAIN

2008-09-30T01:06:00.000-07:00

it's been a hard day for me.

1. i got up finding it was raining outside.

2. i gotta drag my lazy ass out of the bed because I had to withdraw money to buy the one-year-pass bus ticket which costs like HEEELLL...*okay if you say $1000 for a bus card is cheap.It's not hell for you and I raise my hand,hail you

3. i went out from my room finding a warning from my apt's security..saying im not supposed to put any private property in the passage *yea I tried to dry my used umbrella there

4. i had to ride on my bike and hold the half-broken umbrella at the same time for a 10mins ride in the middle of the rain.

5. the wind kept blowing my umbrella.

6. i got to the mall finding I cant withdraw the money for some technical errors, probably due to moslem's super big day tomorrow.

it pissed me off because the bus ticket is only sold til 2 days from now.and it took me 3 days to withdraw the whole money because the bank limits me to take only $500 per day and i gotta withdraw another $500 for my friend.

7. i went back to my apt still with bicycle and umbrella for the torturing 10mins.

8. here i am..pissed off

http://foureyes.deviantart.com

WELL, rain has never been as pretty as that pic for me.never been good.

it's been raining for the whole 3 days here and I've always cursed on rainy lonely days.

if you say rain is such a romantic time.

if you say rain can sooth you up.

if you say rain can calm you down.

i say C L I C HE.

rain wets your clothes.

rain ruins your shoes.

rain makes it less convenient to go out especially here, where I have to go around by bicycle.

rain brings gloomy atmosphere for me.

rain ruins my mood.

rain drives me melancholic.

rain makes me miss you.

if only you were here, I'd probably hate this rain a little less.

http://jetlinanhedonia.deviantart.com

i miss THESE RETARDED FACES

2008-09-29T01:37:00.000-07:00

(clockwise from top) Kokoh Lie Lestari, Yuri Ardila, Iqro Anugrah, Aditya Simapranata, Himawan Mulyo Adi, Garri Juanda

see you in less than a week!!

im the one who read and re-think =)

2008-09-28T11:04:00.001-07:00

WHAT OPRAH HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was nottreating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle.
If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.Don't stay because you think "it will get better".
You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why
would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything.He will use it against you later.You cannot change a man's behavior.

Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...
Even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.Never borrow someone else's man.
If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.A man will only treat you the way you
ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.You should not be the one doing all the bending...
compromise is two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...

Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals.

Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
When a man always knows where you are, and you're

always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.Make him miss you sometimes...

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women and men (just so they know)...
You'll make someone smile, another rethink herchoices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person,
an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire lifetime to forget them.

the untold 'thank yous'

2008-09-27T10:21:00.001-07:00

..no use in trying when the pieces dont fit anymore..

the hardest things in life come when you have to make decision using your brain instead of your heart

i made a big one and found it's true..indeed

yet i never regret those things in the past

thanks to KIJIMA KOGEN where Ive been doing the part-time job for letting my mind wander around and about

i just looked back to those 3 wonderful years and found a pile of reasons to thank the person i spent those times with

here goes the list..

- thank you for the 3 priceless years

- thank you for being around in these past 14 years out of 19 years of my life

- thank you for every wake up call that helped me succeeding the national exams

- thank you for helpin me with those never-ending high school times

- thank you for being on the other side of the phone, listening to me crying, complaining, or telling boring stories

- thank you for sitting in the silence while i was busy thinking

- thank you for making me stronger because i knew you're always there

- thank you for being my super best friend

- tahnk you for every holding hand

- thank you for every comforting hug

- thank you for the laughter

- thank you for every single tear we shed

- thank you for those yet irreplacable lame jokes

- thank you for being such a great fooling-around partner

- thank you for the birthday surprises (also special thanks to my lifetime best friend, Fitria Anindita Putri for deleting the whole pics)

- thank you for letting me be me and still stand it

- thank you for knowing me that well and let me win most of the fights ( i know i was beyond selfish those days)

- thank you for being my number one supporter during my final paper struggle (also thanks to all the viruses in my computer for making me re-type the whole thing)

- thank you for takin me after school everytime my stomach kills

- thank you for pickin me up in the middle of the night just to make sure i get home safely

- thank you for every single mile you drove me

- thank you for being beyond patient, teaching me how to drive

- thank you for letting me drive, bringing you into those near-death rides

- thank you for selling your precious soccer-match ticket just to go out with me and I ended up cancelling the plan (i know i was such a pain in the ass)

- thank you for those finally-given-after-3-years bouquet of flowers

- thank you for teaching me how to be grateful

- thank you for making me realize how important it is to appreciate what we've got before it's gone

- thank you for making me wiser

- thank you for bringin me to a higher level of life

- thank you for making my mom finally said, "you know, you had a really good guy"

- thank you for being the reason i felt "i once found the one"

- thank you for being THAT good

- thank you for those things listed above and the rests that i cant think off the top of my head

sorry for taking those blessing for granted all these times

I just realized it takes a big heart to do so and Im telling you, you have that big heart

thank you.

lastly,

thank you for once making it US

good luck, Mr.future doctor

you're in my prayers<3

back to You, it always comes around

2008-09-26T20:00:00.000-07:00

..as the deer panteth for the water, so my soul longeth after Thee..

" but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

Matthew 6:33

I just lately realized how God is always around us in the little simple things that we take for granted.

God is around us..He looks upon us through the beautiful morning sunshine and moonlight

God is around us..He showers us with blessings through our loving parents

God is around us..He pours the love through our sisters and brothers

God is around us..He guides us to a brighter future through our teachers and professors

God is around us..He puts laughter and smile through our friends

God is around us..He feeds us through all the good foods we eat

God is around us..He keeps us from sins and evil through His word

God is around us..He lets us grow and learn through the troubles we face

God is around us..He's only a prayer away

God is around us..He just is

Dont miss out on a blessing just because it isn't packaged the way that you expect.

"Be strong and of good courage: do not be afraid, nor be dismated; for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go" JOSHUA 1:9

"The Lord, He is the one who goes before you. He will be with you, he will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed" DEUTERONOMY 31:8

" For this God is our God for even and ever; He will be our guide even to the end" PSALM 48:14

God is good.

be good=)

midnight trash

2008-09-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

it's been 3 weeks since i got into this endless boredom..

been busy with my part-time job where i gotta deal with dishes, super dirty water, not-good-for-your-hands chemical,yet nice income and another source for great foods*wink*

thank God it's finally 6 more days til school starts and it's 8 more days til 'a really good friend of mine' is here

yes, im counting down.....

expert in losing.never good at goodbyes

2008-09-25T10:39:00.001-07:00

what have we done, was it wrong?

OH, dont touch it's too much

good luck, dont get stuck, turn around before you can't go back

06.06

2008-09-03T13:50:00.000-07:00

back in japan after two weeks away going back home...truly kills.

have tonssss to write about home and the likes but since someone's just left and i guess im gonna miss him a BIT..i guess i'll be spending the upcomin hours whoring over the internet,watching the sun rises from my new room's window*which is super good since i live on the 9th floor..by the side of the beach*, and probably be working with those pics on my cam.

missed you already, my pain-in-the-ass-yet-missable mate=)

have a safe and sound trip..see ya in a month

first

2008-08-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

first post.yea.

been whoring over " local celebs' " blogs lately..as a result of this excessive holiday with nothing to do except counting down the days til im home.

so..here i am..making my own blog and blabber around.

it's been a tough day indeed.

just got the key to my new apt today.well, im pretty lucky to get one room on the top floor of the building, directly over viewing the sea. all i need is open up my window and sit on the balcony to sip the sea-wind breezin.

well..well.. i count it as a privilege especially because i have my special people live only 6 floors below..makes it easier for me to reach them.

1.24am.

guess i gotta stop blabberin around, start packin my stuffs from my previous dorm, take a shower, cuddle around, and have a nice sleep, savin energy for another movin out things tomorrow.

cheers,